Stephen Lynch

I bought a gerbil at the petting zoo

If Richard Gear can do it I can too

I'd get undressed I'd start to lube

I'd stick the gerbil in the end of the tube

I'm wondering just how he'll feel

Will he like it better than his little wheel

Careful now he's right beside me

One more inch and he's inside me

Go gerbil go

Burrow harder burrow deeper

Be my little chimney sweeper

One thing I forgot about

How am I supposed to get you out

So now my gerbil's on easy street

It's warm and cozy and there's plenty to eat

The situation is beyond my control

Gotta find a way to get him out of his hole

I try crowbars, I try wires

I almost had him with a pair of pliers

I try cheese but he's not biting

I wish this wasn't so exciting

Go gerbil go

Jesus I am such a sucker

Please get out you furry fu-grr

I think I am getting ill

Suddenly he's very, very still

Now its too late my gerbil died

I guess I have committed gerbicide

Here's some advice it's very clear-cut

If you love your gerbil, don't stick him up your butt

Don't stick him up your butt

Little furry gerbil in your booty hole

Don't stick him up

And ya put him in your ass

And he won't come out

(growling skeet)