Now if I may indulge in a bit of personal history, a few years ago I worked for a while at the Los Alamos scientific laboratory in New Mexico. I had a job there as a spy. No, I guess you know that the staff out there at that time was composed almost exclusively of spies...of one persuasion or another. And, while I was out there, I came to realize how much the Wild West had changed since the good old days of Wyatt Earp and Home on the Range, and here then is a modern cowboy ballad commemorating that delightful metamorphosis called The Wild West Is Where I Wanna Be.
Along the trail you'll find me lopin'
Where the spaces are wide open,
In the land of the old A.E.C.* Yee-hoo!
Where the scenery's attractive,
And the air is radioactive,
Oh, the Wild West is where I wanna be.
'Mid the sagebrush and the cactus
I'll watch the fellows practice
Droppin' bombs through the clean desert breeze. A-ha!
I'll have on my sombrero,
And of course I'll wear a pair o'
Levis over my lead B.V.D.'s.**
I will leave the city's rush,
Leave the fancy and the plush,
Leave the snow and leave the slush
And the crowds.
I will seek the desert's hush,
Where the scenery is lush,
How I long to see the mush-room clouds.
'Mid the yuccas and the thistles
I'll watch the guided missiles,
While the old F.B.I. watches me. Yee-hoo!
Yes, I'll soon make my appearance
(Soon as I can get my clearance),
'Cause the Wild West is where I wanna be.
