Lobachevsky

Tom Lehrer

For many years now, Mr. Danny Kaye, who has been my particular idol since childbirth, has been doing a routine about the great Russian director Stanislavsky and the secret of success in the acting profession. And I thought it would be interesting to st... to adapt this idea to the field of mathematics. I always like to make explicit the fact that before I went off not too long ago to fight in the trenches, I was a mathematician by profession. I don't like people to get the idea that I have to do this for a living. I mean, it isn't as though I had to do this, you know, I could be making, oh, 3000 dollars a year just teaching.



Be that as it may, some of you may have had occasion to run into mathematicians and to wonder therefore how they got that way, and here, in partial explanation perhaps, is the story of the great Russian mathematician Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky.*



Who made me the genius I am today,

The mathematician that others all quote?

Who's the professor that made me that way,

The greatest that ever got chalk on his coat?



One man deserves the credit,

One man deserves the blame,

and Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name. Oy!

Nicolai Ivanovich Lobache...



I am never forget the day I first meet the great Lobachevsky.

In one word he told me secret of success in mathematics: Plagiarize!



Plagiarize,

Let no one else's work evade your eyes,

Remember why the good Lord made your eyes,

So don't shade your eyes,

But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize...

Only be sure always to call it please, "research".



And ever since I meet this man my life is not the same,

And Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name. Oy!

Nicolai Ivanovich Lobache...



I am never forget the day I am given first original paper to write. It

was on Analytic and Algebraic Topology of Locally Euclidean Metrization

of Infinitely Differentiable Riemannian Manifold.

Bozhe moi!

This I know from nothing.**

But I think of great Lobachevsky and I get idea - haha!



I have a friend in Mi