The Vatican Rag

Tom Lehrer

First you get down on your knees

Fiddle with your rosaries

Bow your head with great respect

And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect



Do what every steps you want if

You have cleared them with the pontiff

Everybody say his own kyrie eleison

Doin' the Vatican Rag



Get in line in that processional

Step into that small confessional

There the guy who's got religion'll

Tell you if your sin's original



If it is, try playin' it safer

Drink the wine and chew the wafer

Two, four, six, eight

Time to transubstantiate



So get down upon your knees

Fiddle with your rosaries

Bow your head with great respect

And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect



Make a cross on your abdomen

When in Rome do like a Roman

Ave Maria, gee it's good to see ya

Gettin' ecstatic and sorta dramatic and

Doin' the Vatican Rag