Poisoning Pigeons In The Park

Tom Lehrer

Spring is here, spring is here

Life is skittles and life is beer

I think the loveliest time of the year

Is the spring, I do, don't you? Course you do

But there's one thing that makes spring complete for me

And makes every Sunday a treat for me



All the world seems in tune on a spring afternoon

When we're poisoning pigeons in the park

Every Sunday you'll see my sweetheart and me

As we poison the pigeons in the park



When they see us coming

The birdies all try and hide

But they still go for peanuts

When coated with cyanide



The sun's shining bright

Everything seems all right

When we're poisoning pigeons in the park



We've gained notoriety

And caused much anxiety

In the Audobon Society

With our games

They call it impiety

And lack of propriety

And quite a variety of unpleasant names



But it's not against any religion

To want to dispose of a pigeon



So if Sunday you're free

Why don't you come with me

And we'll poison the pigeons in the park

And maybe we'll do in a squirrel or two

While we're poisoning pigeons in the park



We'll murder them amid laughter and merriment

Except for the few we take home to experiment



My pulse will be quickenin'

With each drop of strychnine

We feed to a pigeon

It just takes a smidgin

To poison a pigeon in the park