This Is What We Find 

Ian Dury And The Blockheads

Oi, Reg, meat and two veg?

He done him with a ten pound sledge

He done himself a favour *crash*



Forty year-old arse-wipe,

Mrs. Elizabeth Walker of Lambeth Walk

Had a husband who was jubblified

With only half a stalk

So she had a milk of magnesia

And curry powder sandwich,

Half a pound of uncut pork

Took an overdose of Omo,

This made the neighbours talk

Could have been watching Frankie Vaughan

On the telly and giving herself a scratch



This is what we find

This is what we find

This is what we find

A sense of humour is required

Amongst our bacon rind



Hello, Brian, wash and iron?

Try it on, it's only nylon

Single bachelor with little dog,

Tony Green of Turnham Green

Said, "Who's a clever boy, then, girl",

Yes you know whom I mean

Cos the mongrel laid a cable in the sandpit

Of the playground of the park

Where they had been

And with a bit of tissue,

He wiped its bum-hole clean

A bit of claggy on the waggy



This is what we find

This is what we find

This is what we find

I must have had a funny time

On the Golden Hind



O vanitas vanitatum

Which of us is happy in this life?

Which of us has our desire,

Or having it, is gratified?

Hello, Mrs. this boy looks familiar,

They used to call him Robin Hood

Now he's Robin fuck... shit... cunt...



Home improvement expert

Harold Hill of Harold Hill

Of do-it-yourself dexterity

And double-glazing skill

Came home to find another gentleman's kippers

In the grill

So sanded off his winkle

With his Black and Decker drill



This is what we find

This is what we find

This is what we find

The hope that springs eternal

Springs right up your behind



This is what we find

This is what we find

This is what we find

This is what we find

This is what we find