Congress Shall Make No Law

Frank Zappa

Congress shall not make no Law

Mr. Frank Zappa
Mr. Zappa, thank you very much for being with us, please proceed

Okay, my name is Frank Zappa
This is my attorney, Larry Stein from Los Angeles
Can you hear me?

Could you- if you could speak very directly and clearly into the microphone, I would appreciate it

Okay, my name is Frank Zappa
This is my attorney Larry Stein
The statement that I prepared, that I sent you 100 copies of, is five pages long
So I have shortened it down and I′m going to read a condensed version of it

Certain things have happened
I have been listening to the event in the other room
And have heard some conflicting reports as to whether or not
People in this committee want legislation
I understand that Mr. Hollings does, from his comments
Is that correct?

I think you better concentrate on your testimony
Rather than asking questions to the committee, Mr. Zappa

The reason I need to ask it
Because if- I have to change something in my testimony
If there is not a clearcut version of whether or not legislation is what is being discussed here

Do the best you can
Because I don't think anybody here can characterize Mr. Hollings, Senator Hollings′ position

Okay, I will carry on with the issue, then
First thing I-

Mr. Chairman, I might help him out just a little bit
I might make a statement (yes)
This is one Senator that might be interested in legislation and/or regulation to some extent
Recognizing the problems with free right of expression and my previously expressed views
That I don't believe I should be telling other people what they have to listen to
But I really believe that the suggestion made by the original panel was some kind of an arrangement
For voluntarily policing this in the music industry as the correct way to go
So, if it'll help you out in your testimony, I might join Senator Hollings and, or others
In some kind of legislation and/or regulation, unless the free enterprise system
Both the producers and you as the performers, see fit to clean up your act (okay, thank you)... Voluntary

Okay, that′s hardly voluntary
The first thing I would like to do, because I know there is some foreign press involved here
And they might not understand what the issue is about
One of the things the issue is about is the First Amendment to the Constitution
And it is short and I would like to read it so they will understand
It says, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion
Or prohibiting the free exercise thereof
Or abridging the freedom of speech or of the press
Or the right of the people
Peaceably to assemble and to petition the government for a redress of grievances"
That′s for reference
These are my personal observations and opinions
I speak on behalf of no group or professional organization

The PMRC proposal is an ill-conceived piece of nonsense which fails to deliver any real benefits to children
Infringes the civil liberties of people who are not children
And promises to keep the courts busy for years
Dealing with the interpretational and enforcemental problems inherent in the proposal's design

It′s my understanding that in law
First Amendment issues are decided with a preference for the least restrictive alternative
In this context, the PMRC demands are the equivalent of treating dandruff by decapitation

No one has forced Mrs. Baker or Mrs. Gore to bring Prince or Sheena Easton into their homes
Thanks to the Constitution, they are free to buy other forms of music for their children
Apparently, they insist on purchasing the works of contemporary recording artists
In order to support a personal illusion of aerobic sophistication
Ladies, please be advised
The $8. 98 purchase price does not entitle you to a kiss on the foot from the composer
Or performer in exchange for a spin on the family Victrola

Taken as a whole
The complete list of PMRC demands
Reads like an instruction manual for some sinister kind of toilet training program
To house-break all composers and performers because of the lyrics of a few
Ladies, how dare you?

The ladies' shame must be shared by the bosses at the major labels who, through the RIAA
Chose to bargain away the rights of composers, performers, and retailers
In order to pass H. R. 2911, The Blank Tape Tax
A private tax levied by an industry on consumers for the benefit of a select group within that industry
Is this a consumer issue? You bet it is

The major record labels need to have H. R. 2911 whiz through a few committees
Before anybody smells a rat
One of them is chaired by Senator Thurmond
Is it a coincidence that Mrs. Thurmond is affiliated with the PMRC?

I can′t say she's a member, because the PMRC has no members
Their secretary told me on the phone last Friday that the PMRC has no members, only founders
I asked how many other D. C. Wives are nonmembers of an organization that raises money by mail
Has a tax-exempt status
And seems intent on running the Constitution of the United States through the family paper-shredder
I asked her if it was a cult
Finally, she said she couldn′t give me an answer and that she had to call their lawyer

While the wife of the Secretary of the Treasury recites, "Gonna drive my love inside you"
And Senator Gore's wife talks about "bondage" and "oral sex at gunpoint" on the CBS Evening News
People in high places work on a tax bill that is so ridiculous
The only way to sneak it through is to keep the public's mind on something else, Porn Rock

Is the basic issue morality? Is it mental health? Is it an issue at all?
The PMRC has created a lot of confusion with improper comparisons between song lyrics
Videos, record packaging, radio broadcasting, and live performances
These are all different mediums
And the people who work in them
Have the right to conduct their business without trade-restraining legislation
Whipped up like an instant pudding by "The wives of Big Brother"

Is it proper that the husband of a PMRC nonmember-founder-person sits on any committee
Considering business pertaining to the blank tape tax or his wife′s lobbying organization?
Can any committee thus constituted find facts in a fair and unbiased manner?
This committee has three that we know about
Senator Danforth, Senator Packwood, and Senator Gore
For some reason, they seem to feel there is no conflict of interest involved

Children in the vulnerable age bracket have a natural love for music
If as a parent you believe they should be exposed to something more uplifting than "Sugar Walls"
Support music appreciation programs in schools
Why haven′t you considered your child's need for consumer information?
Music appreciation costs very little compared to sports expenditures
Your children have a right to know that something besides pop music exists

It is unfortunate that the PMRC would rather dispense
Governmentally sanitized heavy metal music than something more uplifting
Is this an indication of PMRC′s personal taste
Or just another manifestation of the low priority
This administration has placed on education for the arts in America?
The answer, of course, is neither
You can't distract people from thinking about an unfair tax by talking about music appreciation
For that you need sex, and lots of it

The establishment of a rating system, voluntary or otherwise
Opens the door to an endless parade of moral quality control programs
Based on things certain Christians don′t like
What if the next bunch of Washington wives demands a large yellow "J"
On all material written or performed by Jews
In order to save helpless children from exposure to concealed Zionist doctrine?
Record ratings are frequently compared to film ratings
Apart from the quantitative difference, there is another that is more important
People who act in films are hired to pretend
No matter how the film is rated, it won't hurt them personally

Since many musicians write and perform their own material and stand by it as their art
Whether you like it or not
An imposed rating will stigmatize them as individuals
How long before composers and performers
Are told to wear a festive little PMRC arm band with their scarlet letter on it?

Bad facts make bad law
And people who write bad laws are in my opinion
More dangerous than songwriters who celebrate sexuality
Freedom of speech, freedom of religious thought
And the right to due process for composers, performers and retailers are imperiled if the PMRC
And the major labels consummate this nasty bargain

Are we expected to give up Article 1
So the big guys can collect an extra dollar on every blank tape
And 10 to 25 percent on tape recorders?
What is going on here? Do we get to vote on this tax?
I think that this whole matter has gotten completely blown out of proportion
And I agree with Senator Exon that there is a very dubious reason for having this event
And I also agree with Senator Exon that you shouldn′t be wasting time on stuff like this
Because from the beginning I have sensed that it is somebody's hobby project

Now, I've done a number of interviews on television and people keep saying
"Can′t you take a few steps in their direction, can′t you sympathize, can't you empathize?"
I do more than that at this point
I′ve got an idea for a way to stop all this stuff
And a way to give parents what they really want
Which is information, accurate information as to what is inside the album
Without providing a stigma for the musicians who have played on the album
Or the people who sing it or the people who wrote it
And I think that if you listen carefully to this idea
That it might just get by all of the constitutional problems and everything else
As far as I am concerned

I have no objection to having all of the lyrics placed on the album routinely, all the time
But there is a little problem
Record companies do not own the right automatically to take these lyrics
Because they're owned by publishing companies
So, just as all the rest of the PMRC proposals would cost money, this would cost money too
Because the record companies would need, they shouldn′t be forced to bear the cost
The extra expenditure to the publisher, to print those lyrics

If you consider that the public needs to be warned about the contents of the records
What better way than to let them see exactly what the songs say?
That way you don't have to put any kind of subjective rating on the record
You don′t have to call it R, X, D/A, anything
You can read it for yourself

But in order for it to work properly, the lyrics should be on a uniform kind of a sheet
Maybe even the Government could print those sheets
Maybe it should even be paid for by the Government
If the Government is interested in making sure
That people have consumer information in this regard
And you also have to realize that if a person buys the record and takes it out of the store
Once it is out of the store you can't return it if you read the lyrics at home
And decide that little Johnny is not supposed to have it

I think that that should at least be considered
And the idea of imposing these ratings on live concerts
On the albums, asking record companies to reevaluate or drop
Or violate contracts that they already have with artists should be thrown out
That's it all, that′s what I have to say

Thank you very much, Mr. Zappa
You understand that the previous witnesses were not asking for legislation
And I don′t know, I can't speak for Senator Hollings
But I think the prevailing view here is that nobody is asking for legislation
The question is just focusing on what a lot of people perceive to be a problem
And you have indicated that you at least understand that there is another point of view

Yeah, I do understand

But there are people that think that parents should have some knowledge
Of what goes into their home

All along my objection has been with the tactics used by these people
In order to achieve the goal
I just think the tactics have been really bad, and the whole premise of their proposal
They were badly advised in terms of record business law
They were badly advised in terms of practicality
Or they would have known that certain things don′t work mechanically with what they suggest

Senator Gore

Thank you very much, Mr. Chairman
I found your statement very interesting and
Let me say although I disagree with some of the statements that you make
And have made on other occasions
I have been a fan of your music, believe it or not, and I respect you as a true original
And a tremendously talented musician

Your suggestion on printing the lyrics on the album is a very interesting one
Because the PMRC at one point said they would propose either a rating and/or warning
Or printing all the lyrics on the album and
The record companies came back and said that they didn't want to do that

But I think an awful lot of people agree with your suggestion
That one easy way to solve this problem for parents would be to put the actual words there
So that parents could see them
In fact, the National Association of Broadcasters
Made exactly the same request of the record companies
So I think your suggestion is an intriguing one
And might really be a solution for the problem

But the problem, well, you just have to understand that it does cost money
Because you can′t expect publishers to automatically give up that right
Which is a money earning right for them
Somebody is going to have to reimburse the publishers
The record industry is going to
Without trying to mess up the album jacket art
And impose that lyrics only be printed on the back
It should be a sheet of paper that is slipped inside the shrink-wrap
That when you take it out you can still have a complete album package
So there is going to be some extra cost for printing it

But as long as people realize that for this kind of consumer safety
You're gonna spend some money
And as long as you can find a way to pay for it
I think that would be the best way to let people know

Well, you know, I do not disagree with that at all
And the separate sheet would also solve the problem with the cassettes as well
Because you do not have the space for words on the cassette packs

Well, there would have to be a little accordion-fold in there

Yeah. Something like that. And-
Or just fold it
But, but a very large percentage of the albums that are sold are sold in cassette form

I′ve listened to you a number of times on this issue
And I guess the question that I really want to get from you is
Or the statement that I want to get from you
Is whether or not you feel that the concern is legitimate
Because, occasionally you feel very strongly about your position, and I understand that
Very articulate and forceful
But occasionally you give the impression
That you think parents are just silly to be concerned at all

That's not an accurate impression

Well, please clarify it, then

First of all, I think it is the parents' concern, it is not the Government′s concern

And they agree with you on that

Well, that doesn′t come across in the way they have been speaking
The whole drift that I have gotten
Based upon the media blitz that has attended the PMRC and its rise to infamy
Is that they have a special plan, and it has smelled like legislation up until now
There are too many things that look like hidden agendas involved with this and I am a parent
I have got four children, two of them are here
I want them to grow up in a country where they can think what they want to think
Be what they want to be, and not what somebody's wife
Or somebody in Government makes them be
I don′t wanna have that and I don't think you do either

Okay, but now you′re back on the-, you're back on the other issue
Let me just say briefly on that that they say repeatedly
No legislation, no regulation, no Government action
It certainly sounded pretty clear to me
And as far as a hidden agenda, you know, I don′t see one, hear one, or know of one

OK, let me tell you why I have drawn these conclusions
First of all, they may say, "We are not interested in legislation"
But there are others who do, and because of their project
Bad things have happened in this country in the industry
I believe there is actually some liability
Look at this
You have a situation where, even if you go for the lyric printed thing in the record
Because of the tendency among Americans to be copycats
One guy commits a murder, you get a copycat murder
Now you've got copycat censors
You get a very bad situation in San Antonio, Texas, right now
Where they are trying to pass PMRC-type individual ratings
And attach them to live concerts
With the mayor down there trying to make a national reputation
By putting San Antonio on the map
As the first city in the United States to have these regulations
Against the suggestion of the city attorney, who says, "I don't think this is constitutional"
But you know, there is this fervor to get in and do even more, even more
And the other thing, the PMRC starts off talking about lyrics
But when they take it over into other realms they start talking about the videos
In fact, you misspoke yourself at the beginning in your introduction
When you were talking about the music does this, the music does that
There is a distinct difference between those notes
And chords and the basseline and the rhythm
That support the words and the lyrics
I do not know whether you really are talking about controlling the type of music that gets heard
So specifically we′re talking about lyrics
It began with lyrics
But even looking at the PMRC fundraising letter
In the last paragraph at the bottom of the page
It starts looking like it is branching into other areas
When it says, "We realize that this material has pervaded other aspects of society"
And it is like what, you are going to fix it all for me?

No, I think what they′re- I mean
I think they're acknowledging some of the statements by some of their critics who say
"Well, why single out the music industry"

But if I can have just a- have a minute more, Mr. Chairman
Before we got back into that, you were saying
Yes, you do believe that there is a legitimate concern

But the legitimate concern is a matter of taste for the individual parent
And how much sexual information that parent wants to give their child
At what age, at what time, in what quantity, OK
And I think that, because there is a tendency in the United States to hide sex
Which I think is an unhealthy thing to do
And many parents do not give their children good sexual education
In spite of the fact that little books for kids are available
And other parents demand that sexual education be taken out of school
It makes the child vulnerable
Because if you don′t have something rational to compare it to when you see
Or hear about something that is aberrated you do not perceive it as an aberration. OK?

OK, I've run out of time. Thank you, Mr. Chairman

Senator Rockefeller

Senator Gorton

Mr. Zappa, I am astounded at the courtesy
And soft-voiced nature of the comments of my friend, the Senator from Tennessee
I can only say that I found your statement to be boorish
Incredibly and insensitively insulting to the people that were here previously
That you could manage to give the First Amendment of the Constitution of the United States
A bad name
If I felt that you had the slightest understanding of it, which I do not
You do not have the slightest understanding
Of the difference between Government action and private action
And you have certainly destroyed any case you might otherwise have had with this Senator
Thank you, Mr. Chairman

Is this private action?

Mr. Chairman, thank you very much

Mr. Zappa, let me say that I was surprised that Senator Gore knew and liked your music
I must confess that I have never heard any of your music, to my knowledge

I would be more than happy to recite my lyrics to you

Can we forgo that?

You, you′ve probably never heard of the Mothers Of Invention

I have heard of Glenn Miller and Mitch Miller
Did you ever perform with them?

As a matter of fact, I took music lessons in grade school from Mitch Miller's brother

That′s the first sign of hope we have had in this hearing

Let us try and get down to a fundamental question here
That I would like to ask you, Mr. Zappa
Do you believe that parents have the right
And the obligation to mold the psychological development of their children?

Yeah, I think they have that right, and I also think they have that obligation

Do you see any extreme difficulty in carrying out those obligations
For a parent by material falling into the hands of their children
Over which they have little or no control?

Well, one of the things that has been brought up before
Is talking about very young children getting access to the material
That they have been showing here today
And what I have said to that in the past is a teenager may go into a record store
Unescorted with $8. 98 in his pocket, but very young children do not
If they go into a record store
The $8. 98 is in mom's pocket or dad's pocket, and they can always say
"Johnny, buy a book"
They can say, "Johnny, buy instrumental music"
There′s some nice classical music here for you, why don′t you listen to that"
The parent can ask or guide the child in another direction, away from Sheena Easton, Prince
Or whoever else you have been complaining about
There is always that possibility

As I understand it from your testimony, and once again
I want to emphasize that I see nothing wrong whatsoever
In fact, I salute the ladies for bringing this to the attention of the public as best they see fit
But I want to be very careful that we do not overstep our bounds and try and
I emphasize once again, tell somebody else what they should see

So I am primarily worried about children
It seems to me from your statement that you have no obligation
Or no objection whatsoever to printing lyrics, if that would be legally possible
Or from a standpoint of having the room to do that, on records or tapes
Is that not what you said?

I think it would be advisable for two reasons
One, it gives people one of the things that they've been asking for
It gives them that type of consumer protection because
If you can read the English language and you can see the lyrics on the back
You have no excuse for complaning if you take the record out of the store
And also, I think that the record industry has been damaged
And it has been given a very bad rap by this whole situation
Because it′s been indicated, or people have attempted to indicate
That there is so much of this kind of material that people object to in the industry
That that is what the industry is
It is not bad at all
Some of the albums that have been selected for abuse here are obscure
Some of them are already several years old
And I think that a lot of deep digging was done in order to come up
With the song about the anal vapors or whatever it was that they were talking about before

If I understand you, you would be in support of printing the lyrics
But you are adamantly opposed to any kind of a rating system? Is that correct?

I'm opposed to the rating system because, as I said
If you put a rating on the record
It goes directly to the character of the person who made the record
Whereas if you rate a film, a guy who is in the film has been hired as an actor
He is pretending
You rate the film, whatever it is, it doesn′t hurt him
But whether you like what is on the record or not, the guy who made it
That's his art and to stigmatize him is not fair

Well, likewise, if you are primarily concerned about the artists
Is it not true that for many many years
We have had ratings of movies
With indications as to the sexual content of movies and that has been
As near as I can tell
A voluntary action on the part of the actors in the movies
And the producers of the movies and the distributors?
That seems to have worked reasonably well
What is wrong with that?

Well, first of all, it replaced something that was far more restrictive
Which was the Hays Office
And as far as that being voluntary
There are people who wish they did not have to rate their films
They still object to rating their films
But the reason the ratings go on is
Because if they are not rated they won′t get distributed or shown in theaters
So there is a little bit of pressure involved
But still there is no stigma on the person—

The Government does not require that
The point I am trying to make is
And while I think these hearings should not have been held
If we are not considering legislation or regulations at this time
I emphasized earlier that they might follow

I simply want to say to you that I suspect that
Unless the industry "cleans up their act"
And I use that in quote words again, there is likely to be legislation
And it seems to me that it would not be too far removed from reality
Or too offensive to anyone if you could follow the general guidelines
Right, wrong, or indifferent
That are now in place with regard to the movie industry

Well, I would object to that
I think first of all, I believe it was you who asked the question of Mrs. Gore
Whether there was any other indication on the album as to the contents
And I would say that a buzzsaw blade between a guy's legs on the album cover
Is a good indication that it is not for little Johnny

I don't believe I entered that question
But the point that you made is a good one
Because if that should not go to little minds
I think there should be at least some minimal activity
Or attempt on the part of the producers and distributors
And indeed possibly the performers
To see that that does not get to that little mind

Mr. Chairman, thank you very much

Mr. Zappa, I apologize for coming back in late
But I am just hearing the latter part of it
I hear that you say that perhaps we could print the words
And I think that is a good suggestion, but it is unfair to have it rated
Now, it is not considered unfair in the movie industry, and I want you to elaborate
I don′t want to belabor you, but why is it unfair?
I mean, it′s accurate, isn't it? I mean-

Well, I don′t know whether it is accurate
Because they sometimes have trouble deciding how a film gets to be an X or an R or whatever
And you have two problems
One is the quantity of material
325 films per year versus 25, 000 four-minute songs per year, OK
You also have a problem that an album is a compilation of different types of cuts
If one song on the album is sexually explicit
And all the rest of it sounds like Pat Boone, what do you get on the album?
How are you going to rate it?
There are little technical difficulties here
And also you have the problem of having somebody in the position of deciding what's good
What′s bad, what's talking about the devil
What is too violent, and you know, and the rest of that stuff
But the point that I made before is that when you rate the album you are rating the individual
Because he takes personal responsibility for the music
And in the movies, the actors who are performing in the movie, it doesn′t hurt them

Well, very good
I think the actual printing of the content itself is perhaps even better than the rating
Let everyone else decide

I think you should leave it up to the parents
Because not all parents want to keep their children totally ignorant

Well, what-
Yeah, you and I would differ on what is ignorance and educated, I can see that
But-

No, I happen to think that you are very educated

I can't complain if it was there
They could see what they were buying
And I think that would be a step in the right direction
But as Senator Exon has pointed out
Whereby the primary movers in this particular regard are not looking for legislation or regulations
That's our function
And to be perfectly candid with you
I would look for regulations or some kind of legislation
If it could be constitutionally accomplished
Unless of course we have these initiatives from the industry itself
I think your suggestion is a good one
If you print those words, that would go a long way toward satisfying everyone′s objections

All we have to do is find out how it is going to be paid for

Good enough. Thank you, Mr. Chairman

Senator Hawkins

Mr. Zappa

Yes

You say you have four children?

Yes

Pardon me

Four children

Four children
Have you ever purchased toys for those children?

No′ my wife does

Well, I might tell you that if you were to go in a toy store
Which is very educational for fathers, by the way
It is not a maternal responsibility to buy toys for children
That you may look on the box and the box says, this is suitable for five to seven years of age
Or eight to 15, or 15 and above, to give you some guidance for a toy for a child
Do you object to that?

In a way I do
Because that means that somebody in an office someplace
Is making a decision about how smart my child is

I'd be interested to see what toys your kids ever had

Why would you be interested?

Just as a point of interest in this

Well, come on over to the house I′ll show 'em to you
Really

I might do that
Have you ever made
Do you make a profit from sales of rock records?

Yes

So you do make a profit from the sales of rock records?

Yes
Thank you

I think that statement tells the story to this committee, thank you

Mr Zappa thank you for your testimony

Thank you

Next witness is John Denver

We haven′t got 'em whipped on this one yet, you got a bear by the tail here, uh? Jeezis!