School Night

Ani Difranco

she went over to his apartment

clutching her decision

and he said, did you come here to tell me goodbye?

so she built a skyscraper of procrastination

and then she leaned out the twenty-fifth floor window

of her reply

and she felt like an actress

just reading her lines

when she finally said

yes. it's really goodbye this time

and far below was the blacktop

and the tiny toy cars

and it all fell so fast

and it all fell so far



and she said:

you are a miracle but that is not all

you are also a stiff drink and i am on call

you are a party and i am a school night

and i'm lookin' for my door key

but you are my porch light



and you'll never know, dear

just how much i loved you

you'll probably think this was

just my big excuse

but i stand committed

to a love that came before you

and the fact that i adore you

is but one of my truths



what of the mother

whose house is in flames

and both of her children

are in their beds crying

and she loves them both

with the whole of her heart

but she knows she can only

carry one at a time?

she's choking on the smoke

of unthinkable choices

she is haunted by the voices

of so many desires

she's bent over from the business

of begging forgiveness

while frantically running around

putting out fires



but then what kind of scale

compares the weight of two beauties

the gravity of duties

or the ground speed of joy?

tell me what kind of gauge

can quantify elation?

what kind of equation

could i possibly employ?

and you'll never know, dear

just how much i loved you

you probably think this was

just my big excuse

but i stand committed

to a love that came before you

and the fact that i adore you

is just one of my truths



so i

i'm goin' home

to please the one i so love pleasing

and i don't expect

he'll have much sympathy for my gri

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