"Suicide Hotline, may I help you?"
Yeah... uh... well I'm 'bout to fuckin' kill myself
"Listen, you don't wanna do that, okay? You don't wanna do that"
I'm gonna.. eh... there's so many reasons why I don't need to be here anymore
"There's no reason"
I'm gonna put a slug in my fuckin' head!
"You don't wanna do that, you wanna be here on Earth okay?"
Fuck that shit man! I got a gun right now...
"Put it away"
...And I got it right under my chin, man, fuck that!
"Take it away from your chin"
I'm gonna blow my head all over the fuckin' ceiling
"No you're not... okay?"
Fuck this shit man...
"Hey, just talk to me, okay?"
[Violent J]
It ain't no point to me wakin up
Everybody's time I'm takin up
I got nobody, it ain't a shoulder near
I can't stay here and it's colder there
I don't wanna look back cause it's gonna hurt
I slice my wrist and it's gonna squirt
For me everybody holds a hate
I get backstabbed and everybody holds the stake
It's no roads to take, I'm in a circle drive
Bustin' at myself and I'm tryin to survive
I'll disappoint you and I will let you down
And I ain't got many homeboys comin around
You don't understand so don't say you do
I swear I'll put a mothafuckin slug in you
I'm the only one
The lonely one
At home alone loadin a gun, thinkin why not...
"Why not? Why would you wanna die?
Okay, you have feelings inside your head, okay
I understand that
Feelings lead to depression
When you have depression, you have a lonely void inside of your heart
Okay? And your heart means everything to the world
Okay?"
I got court comin up, I stole a truck
I gotta bitch pregnant and I'm broke as fuck
I wanna get high, but I got piss test
I'm always first name on top of shit list
Get this, the witches made my chest
It's permanently nightly visiting nest
It ain't no clothes, that I look good in
I'm the mothafuckin big red train that couldn't
I got no family, I stole they shit
Restraining orders, and I still won't quit
I hit rock bottom and then I fell in a hole
And then fell through the floor of that hole some more
I've been missing for a year, nobody's lookin
I got beat down and my shit tooken
I look ahead and all I see is more of the same
But this self-inflicted bullet hole pouring my brain...
"Ooooooookay, I understand that you're in pain, okay?
I understand everything you're going through
I've been there myself, okay?
Now, your pain is my pain,
Alright? And I feel your pain, and I wanna be your friend
Just me and you, friends"
I dream about cuttin heads off with a shovel
The dreams are getting serious think I'm in trouble
I don't hold memory for more than an hour
I'm tired as fuck and I'm drained of power
I ain't halfway there and I'm all out of time
I'm like a crushed light bulb all out of shine
I've been around the world no place is home
I wanna see the other side when I face this chrome
I'm butt naked, I've been jackin off, gettin drunk
It's my last hours alive who gives a fuck?
It don't matter I'm doing this shit in the garage
Trying to make it easier for them to clean my head splaage
This bitch I loved I hope she finds me
Still up in the chair with my thoughts behind me
I'm about to do it...
Can you hold for a second?
Hello?
(Conversation with J and his Girlfriend)
*Gunshot*
