If You Must

Del The Funky Homosapien

It's important to practice good hygiene

At least if you wanna run with my team

I'm bout to get into some shit that I've seen

This fool's breath, I mean so bad it'll melt your ice cream

They say don't say nothing if you can't say nice things

Sittin too close to him it burned(?) like my eyes sting

I try to be subtle, hand him a stick of gum

I was a victim of breath on him

Running his yap about what sets he from

Gotta get some gum gotta get him some

He turned it down, his teeth was brown

Excruciating for him and it was a new sensation

I had to ask the dope to pass the soap

Cuz his toe had the sniff of crustaceans

Or bathrooms in a bus station

He had a can of Olde E and some raisins

Amazing... head to toe B.O.

He didn't know, used to the fragrance

Just as the days went without bathing

He felt manly and not like a maiden

He had one dread, and fungus

Said he worked on peoples' toilets with plungers

Girls let the guy you were with ????

So guys take your cue from this number



[CHORUS] (x2)

You gotta wash your ass, if you must

You gotta wash your hair, if you must

You gotta brush your teeth, if you must

Or else you'll be funkyyyyyyyy



Now at class you need total concentration

But there's kids in the back holdin conversations

Crackin on each other, and neither were poster boys

Both of em smell like the type that soap avoids

Coast and Joy, they leave their absence

One's fool's feet smelled like it struck some matchsticks

Brimstone, girls would never bring him home

I was laughin, then his friend raised his tone

And said, "Bud(?) you rolled all over yourself" "yeaaa"

I know some people your ass should be submerged

Like you need to deal with water cuz you smell like a turd

Wanna cap get some courage, your feet smell lurid

Well look it up

And while you're at it, get a cup

And squeeze the sweat out your sweatshirt and drink it or gargle

You get our