Shriner's Convention

Ray Stevens

Here they come down main street, drums a flailin' and the sirens a wailin', what a roar

Bands are a playin' and flags are a waivin, and the Vanguard's and Motorcycle Corps

Clowns are a clownin' to the crowd and pinchin' every pretty girl who dares to smile

It's a glorious mess, everybody wears a fez the parade stretches out for a mile



Chorus



It's a typical American phenomenon where all the members have a fine old time

It's the forty-third annual Convention of the Grand Mystic Royal Order

Of the Nobles of the Ali Baba Temple of the Shrine

Girls



Meanwhile back at the Motel.....

Spoken



"Hello, Operator, give me room 321, please, thank you Hello, Noble Lumpkin? This here is the illustrious Potentate. I said it's the illustrious Potentate. The illustrious...Coy! Dad blame it! This here's Bubba! Coy, why an't you at the parade?! What?! Well, how'd you get that big Harley up there in your room? What?! I can't hear ya' Coy! Quit revvin' it up, son! Turn it off! Listen I just want you to know one thing. You have embarrassed us all, the whole Hahira Delegation! Now I'll see you at the banquet tonight, son. And you be there Coy, you hear me? Black tie! Seven o'clock! Be there! And Coy, don't answer the phone, udden udden! Mercy"

Well, it was all arranged by the Ladies Auxiliary in the downtown Convention Hall

Cold Roast Beef, String Beans, Mashed Potatoes and nine boring speeches in all

And all the tables looked fine with their Mogen David Wine and Chrysanthemums on each side

And the Hahira leaders in their rented Tuxedos made the local hearts swell with pride



Chorus



It's a typical American phenomenon where all the members have a fine old time

It's the forty-third annual Convention of the Grand Mystic Royal Order

Of the Nobles of the Ali Baba Temple of the Shrine

Girls



Meanwhile back at the Motel.....

Spoken



"Operator, 321, please. Thank You. Hello, Coy? What are you doin'?! What do you mean, who