Mississippi Squirrel

Ray Stevens

Well when I was kid I'd take a trip

every summer,

down to Mississippi.

To visit my granny in her ante bellum world.I'd run barefooted all day long,

climbing trees free as a song.

One day I happened catch myself a squirrel.

I stuffed him down in an old shoebox,

punched a couple holes in the top and when Sunday came,

I snuck him into church.

I was sittin way back in the very last pew

showin him to my good buddy Hugh,

when that squirrel got loose

and went totally berserk!



Well what happened next is hard to tell.

Some thought it was heaven others thought it was hell.

But the fact that something was among us

was plain to see.

As the choir sang I Surrender All

the squirrel ran up Harv Newlan's coveralls

harv leaped to his feet anmd said,

"Somethin's got a hold on me!"

YEOW



The day the squirrel went berserk.

In the First Self-Righteous Church

Of that sleepy little town of Pascagoula.

It was a fight for survival,

that broke out in revival.

They were jumpin pews and shouting Halelujah!



Well Harv hit the isles dancin and screamin

some thought he had religion

others thought he had a demon

Harv thought he had a weed eater loose

in his fruit of the looms.

He fell to his knees to plead and beg,

and that squirrel ran out of his britches leg,

unobserved to the other side of the room.



All the way down to the Amen pew

where sat Sister Bertha better than you

Who had been watching all the commotion

with sadistic glee.

You should've seen the look in her eyes

when that squirrel jumped her garters and crossed her thighs.

she jumped to her feet and said,

"Lord have mercy on me!"

As the squirrel made laps inside her dress,

she began to cry and then to confess

to sins that would make a sailor blush with shame.



She told of gossip and church disention,

but the thing that got the most attention

is when she talked about her love life

then