Lets get fucked up and die.
I am speaking figuratively of course. Like the last time that I commited suicide, social suicide
Yeah, so I am already dead. On the inside but I can still pretend. With my memories and photographs I've learned to love the lie.
I want to know what it's like to be awkward and innocent, not belligerent. I want to know how it feels to be usefull and pertinent and have common sense, yeah. Let me in, let me into the club 'cause I want to belong and I need to get strong. And if memory serves I'm addicted to words and they're useless... In this department.
Let's get fucked up and die
I'm riding hard on the last legs of every lie. And the bmx bike of my life is about to explode.
I'm about to explode.
I'm a mess I'm a wreck. I am perfect and I have learned to accept. All my problems and shortcomings 'cause I'm so visceral, yet deeply inept.
I want to thank you for being a part of my forget-me-nots and marigolds and other things that don't get old. Is it legal to do this? I surely don't know. It's the only way I have learned to express myself. Through other peoples' descriptions of life. I'm afraid, I'm alone and entirely useless... in this department.
Let's get fucked up and die. For the last time with feeling we'll try not to smile. As we cover our heads and drink heavily into the nights that still shock and surprise.
I believe that I can overcome this and beat everything in the end. But I choose to abuse for the time being. Maybe I'll win, but for now I've decided to die.
Sister soldier you've been such a positive influence on my mental frame. If I could ever repay you I would but I'm hard up for cash and my memory lacks initiative. Goddamn the liquor store's closed we were so close to scoring. It hurts, it destroys 'til it kills. I am tired and hungry and totally useless... In this department.
