Woman: Live from the centre of the universe, the galaxy of
The galaxies, the reality of the realities, it′s the reality show.
And here he is now, our host of this intergalactic show,Emperor of all known and unknown worlds, the no one
Knows more than I do about anything, mr grab 'em by the
Pussy, president, zillionaire, polar bear wrestler, mr Donald
I′m the real Schwarzenegger Trump.
DT: You're welcome, you're so welcome. Yes I′m good.
I′m the best, check my biceps. Yes. And Im rich too, so
Rich, so very rich.
Welcome to your favorite program the reality show.
I wanna start off the show with a message to the fake news
Media, the politically correct and the enemy of the people,
Who not surprisingly hates the show in general and me in
Particular, by once again tell the truth about the world, the
Real world. The freedom of speech here is unexceptionable.
Everybody has the right to say whatever they feel like, how
Ever untrue, offensive or horrendous it might be. But you
Don't wanna say anything wrong about us or the sponsors, or
You′ll be disqualified. Remember whose show you're on.
And you must be as cruel as you can be. There will be sell
Outs, back stabbings and Kanye West, so you might as well
Do it to them before they do it to you. Also called the
Chumbawamba-move.
This is the show where all of your dreams can come true.
We′ve got all the liquor you can drink, provided by Liquor
Inc. We've got all the food you can eat, provided by Fast
Food Industries. We got all the drugs you can consume,
Provided by Worlds Drug Cartel. We got all the guns that
You need to feel secure, provided by the Weapons industry.
Kid Rock heaven. All you have to do is stay in your place
And do what we tell you. The rules are simple. Every day you
Will be put to test. And those of you who fail will have to
Leave the show.
In this age of ignorance is strength, the more the merrier,
Everybody′s got the chance to be a b celebrity. Corporations
Are every day looking for fortune seekers and careerists to
Make famous as long as they got what it takes, meaning,
Ready to humiliate themselves in every thinkable way, in the
New form of entertainment. It's darwinism in the extremist
Form. The prices will be touring as guest bartenders, get
Invited to parties, be guests at app shows, where the
Humiliation is expected to continue. You've got the chance to
Marry a real celebrity or a billionaire. Or maybe replace a
Dead rock star. There′s lots of vacancies in this line of duty,
Bands who don′t want to quit after the front man, and the
Main song writer, has left the building. Right now Nirvana,
Soundgarden, INXS, Jimi Hendrix Experience and Dire
Straits are looking to fill such places. Then there's always the
Chance to get into the next reality show, like Secret admirer
Or home improvement, all you have to do to qualify is tell a
Producer you′re secretly in love with someone or buy a
Crappy house. Well, that's really the only house you can
Afford, ′cos there's no money in it for you. For us, yes, but
Not for you. Don′t complain, you get to do all the work and at
The same time be famous. We control and supervise it. And
We got expenses, and we need to get something out of it,
Other wise we wouldn't do it. Why should we? And this is
Not socialism.
The judges today are prime minister, president, prime
Minister, president comrade Vladimir Putin. Straight outta
Ukraine, isn't it so, puta? Then we got my English brother
And Prime Minister Boris Johnson, from the independent
Kingdom of Great Britain. You can see resemblance by the
Hair. Next is my favorite arab in the whole world, King
Salman of Saudi Arabia. Girls, don′t be fooled by his
Friendly face, he′s almost as naughty as me, but only almost,
Isn't it so, Sally? And last but not the least we got peoples
Rightful leader of Italy, Salvatore Salvini, who′s doing a great
Job in stopping people from shit countries to enter Europe
And fighting for the safety of white people. President
Bolsanero couldn't be with us today as he′s out hunting and
Looting in the Amazonas. It's a family trip. A picknick
Actually. But we all wish him luck with that. Shoot a
Rhinoceros for me, Jair Messias. Oh, I like that name. Hasn′t
He got a lovely name, don't you think? Yes, he has. The
Music is as always performed by the one man band Steve
Bannon and his pump organ and Take back the swastika from
The establishment group. And then we got little Jimmie from
Norway who'll be interviewing people live from the street on
The show a little bit later.
Yesterdays loser was Johnny. Johnny, listen up. You have
Been a bad boy. I don′t think you even tried to perform the
Task you were given. Tho′ it was an easy one. Everyone else
Made it. Everyone but you. And it was such a small task. The
Only thing you had to do was get up, go to work, do a fairly
Good job, then go home and go to bed, without any trouble.
How hard can it be? But you, Johnny, you couldn't do that,
No. You over slept, came in late, didn′t do a such a good job,
Left job early, saying you were sick, lying of course, and went
To a friend, who weren't at his work, bad company, and
Playing video games and drinking alcohol, beer. And as if
That wasn′t bad enough, you had the nerve to mouth off to
Your superiors, didn't you? So, Johnny, you have to go. Now
You only got one chance to stay, and its up to the bystanders.
Your fate here is now in their hands. Let me remind you that
Some of you who are in favor of Johnny staying, also must
Leave if this side loses. So, what′s it gonna be? Leave or stay?
Pick up your phones, or put on your computers, and vote, 1
For leaving and 2 for staying. You got five minutes to do it.
Leave, or stay.
Now lets turn to Jimmie. Are you there, Jimmie?
J: Yes, Donnie, I'm here.
DT: So, Jimmie, what have you got for us?
J: Well, Don, I'm standing here with Patric, who was just
Walking down the street when I stopped him for a chat,
Talking to him about what′s going on in the world. Right,
Patric?
P: Yes, and as I said to you just before this, I firmly believe
That you cant have both a welfare state and an open society.
To maintain the welfare state you have to restrict
Immigration from countries outside our cultural sphere, ′cos
They can't adjust to our society and is depending on our social
Security systems. In other words, they′re parasites and
Criminals. And its just because they don't respect our country
And our values.
J: So you′re saying the immigrants contribution to the society
Are less than the costs?
P: Yes, way less. They're a heavy burden. And that′s why the
Elderly are starving, kids in school got low or no grades,
Workers are unemployed and has a hard time to make ends
Meet, and we got ghettos which are lawless and out of the
Police control.
J: And how do you think it came to be like this?
P: Well Jimmie, I'm fully certain that the establishment, the
Liberals and the pc mob have all worked together to achieve
It, 'cos they hate the nation and our values, and therefore
Made it a haven for terrorists.
J: But what do you say to those who argues that there isn′t a
Shortening of recourses′, and that it's just a matter of
Distribution.
P: Ah Jimmie, that′s only liberal, pc talk. They're talking
Socialism. And its not working. The human being isn′t build
For it. So there cant be a just society. It's utopia. So what we
Have to do is take care of our own, and let others take care of
Themselves. We can′t be the worlds refugee haven.
J: But what do you say to the argument that the social
Division of society is increasing, and this is really the root of
The problem.
P: Yea, the rich get richer, the poor get poorer. I know.
Maybe its so. That's the way it goes ain't it. Everybody
Wants more. Even the poor.
J: And finally, what is your opinion about the climate
Change?
P: I don′t believe in it. Its fake news to get people to turn
Away from the real issues. Like immigrants, criminals and
Terrorists.
J: Thank you, Patric. Back to you, Don.
DT: Thanks Jimmie. Smart guy that one, right Steve? Yea.
Very percipient/insightful. The five minutes are up and the
Votes have been counted. And the result is. Leave or stay?
Johnny, are you nervous? You should be. You know what′s
Gonna happen if the Leave votes wins, right? And as I've told
You, we, the jurors, decided that you have to leave. Now the
Voters also have decided. And the decision, with 4 million
Votes against three, is that you... leave. But you′re not only
Leaving. When I told the owner of the firm, who also happens
To be my son in law, when I told Jared about you, who didn't
Know such a guy was working for him, he immediately took
Action. You have now also been fired, they don′t want you
Back at the work place. The management even said they
Didn't want you there in the first place. They took you in out
Of pity. And as you have no money, you cant pay your bills,
And foremost, you cant afford the rent. So you have to move
Out from that little one room and kitchen you′ve got. It's
Owned by my good friends in Cayman National Bank, so we
Have already moved out your stuff, thanks to the CEO Rudy
Guiliani and the Santini Brothers, and a new tenant is arriving
As we speak, and maybe find a homeless shelter, 'cos for
That′s what you are now. Go to the Salvation Army ′cause
They got great policies around gays and such. And since the
News about you is world wide, thanks to Fox Network real
News, I suggest that you don't just leave town, or the country,
And instead head for another continent, preferably far away in
Some place where the contact with the outside world is
Found you not only useless but arrogant as well. So we have
Put in an extra price just for you. Its a reward for information
About your future whereabouts. So we can have an eye on
You. And its for life. Were also letting you help to pay for it.
We′ve confiscated your stuff and are going to sell them,
Thanks to my good friend Meatloaf and his firm Gold &
Silver Pawn Shop famous from the tv series Pawn stars. It's
Only fair, don′t you think? Too bad that its not worth much.
So, leave your jacket and your shoes and off you go.
Security, lead this man out of the building. Thank you.
And those three people who voted for Johnny to stay, we
Know who you are, and we will be dealt with. You're going
To get exactly what all communists deserves. If I were you I
Would join Johnny in him moving far way from here. But
That′s only me.
Now you see what happens to losers. Let's move on the
Today's task. Let′s take things one step further. You are going
To prove that you can du your colleagues′ job better than
Them. That means you're not going to do your own jobs, but
Also engage yourself in the colleagues work, when you find
That they′re not doing as good as you think they should. As
Usual you are not just allowed, but you must expose your
Colleagues' mistakes and wrong doings, and then find a way
To do them yourselves. Lies and deceits, and discords, and
Making yourself look good by making others look bad, are
The key tactics now. Listen to master of the art, me! What do
You think? Are you up to it? I think you are. But I also
Believe that there′s some of you who'll do it better than the
Others. Good luck!
And remember, the fight goes on: Free the Trump office six!
Good night! See you tomorrow. Same time, same place.
