Couch Potato

Weird Al Yankovic

Look

If you had

One shot

To sit on your lazy butt

And watch all the TV you ever wanted

Until your brain turned to mush

Would you go for it?

Or just let it slip?

Yo



Remote is ready

Eyes wide, palms are sweaty

There's Flintstones on the TV already

Wilma 'n' Betty

No virgin to channel surfin'

And I'm HD-ready

So I flip

Garbage is all I'm getting



There's Simon Cowell

Who folks wanna disembowel

He opens his mouth

Always says something foul

They're dyin', wow

Wannabes are crying now

He votes them out

Time to throw in the towel



Shows based on reality

Oh, the humanity!

Oh, Ozzy's family

Sho' loves profanity

Whoa, the insanity

Oh, dogs that crap and pee

Home of depravity?

No, they live happily

Yo



Plus "Da Ali G Show"

And "Celebrity Mole"

Oh, and there's Anna Nicole

Well, she's scaring me



"Look ma, no cavities"

Oh, it's a station break

Better go out to the kitchen and microwave something



"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV" They told me, they'd scold me

But I'd still tune in every show (show)

My cable gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO

The Travel Channel, Discovery, and Lifetime (yo)



"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV"

They told me, cajoled me, "Turn off those music videos" (no)

I'm gonna watch C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO

The History Channel and QVC and Lifetime (yo)

(You're gonna)



My butt is aching

As I watch NASCAR racing

That show about undertaking

Larry King

To "24" to "Law And Order"

The Weather Channel's boring like "60 Minutes"'s ancient reporters

Next up on "E! True Hollywood Story"

The rise and decline of twelve actors named Corey



Shows for next fall, they've already been namin'

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