Hector Crumpax, Pt. 2

Vic the Bitter

As he continues to say... "Amongst the sewer smell, giant roaches and rats
A few blocks down are a conjunction of government flats
You′ll meet a crackhead called Crackhead In The HatJust give this package to him, it's as easy as that"

Different strains of weed all around me
And smelt like Crumpax also baked a fresh batch of brownies
I ask to take one he says "They aint for outta townies
Feel free but there′s a risk that you'll feel extra cloudy"

Stuff the package and Mary in my bag, head to the flats
Get harassed by some purple goon called The Maxx
He's talking mumbo jumbo about the outback
While i was just trying to imagine a world without crack

I just keep on trekking
Because if i stop for every pleb sweatting me, this mission will be never-ending
Emptying clips in the clerk, yelling out she′s representin

A bullet exits the window, must have been a stray
Ends up catching a rabbit known now as Ricochet
Sadly enough to the rabbit′s dismay
Samurai Pizza Cats were ears deep in catnip that day

Walkin out the pizza shop next door
Staring at the rabbit slumped against the wall, bleeding out onto the floor
Polyester spots an intestine and start to gnaw
They then sprawl out, all frolicking in his guts and gore

Whole block's jonesin for that crack-based play dough
Finds screaming out "Where the fuck is Carmen Sandiego?"
Burt and Ernie cheffing in a parked up Winnebago
Using bleach, Ajax powder, with a little bit of Draino

Soon enough i′m already down a few blocks
I see a red fox on the stoop, coolin in blue socks
Claims all of his boys in his crew are dogs
And offers to recruit me for a job to move a few rocks

Merely shake my head and step right around him
Eating the brownie, i'm in the flats with a stench that′s overpowering
Crowd of Power Rangers skinny like greyhounds
And smelt like they hadn't brushed their teeth or had a shower in

Months

Fits scattered around, shits in the corners
Dudes resembling skeletons with eating disorders
Witness Roger the Rabbit strapped to the wall, being tortured
And motherfuckers around him shouting out "He′s an informant!"

He's an informant!

YO!
Skunk sacks from Hector Crumpax
Deliver the package to the crunk cat

Skunk sacks from Hector Crumpax
Deliver the package to the crunk cat

Dude in red and white hat seemed to be doing the cutting
I stood there in silence, in fear of interrupting
Mustered up courage and felt i needed to say something
"Mr. Crackhead in the Hat, yo what the fuck is up king?"

Introduced myself and pulled out the package
The skinny man in the hat suddenly ceased cutting the rabbit
Making me wanna quit the mission like a bad habit
He told me shut the fuck up, or i'll end up wrapped in plastic!

Death stares from Count Crackula
The product he stacks, gets given back and then he tries to sell it back to ya
And then if you try demand better crack, no luck
This cat will wig out and flip quicker than any spatula

Yip-yip aliens start laughing hysterically
Over indulged a little in some magic mushroom therapy
One then talks about death hypothetically
And proceeds to re-arrange his organs alphabetically

Some dick-jockin Birdman claims his name′s Harvey
And he knows all about me, and supports the Lazy Army
Proceeds to ask me "How much for some garms, g?"
I tell him for nothing if he helps me get my fuckin arms free

I′m soon surround bound on top of a burial ground
Trying to convince Shao Khan for me to hang about
Curious George distracts me with his monkeying around
As i'm gagged with a rag, my vision starts to blur out

The rope wrapped around me feels all warm and tingly
Scope Quagmire in the corner, gettin jiggy (Giggity!)
Fading out, I also start to become giggly
Realising the brownie is now kicking in pretty quickly

Wake up in a rancid bathroom
Hangover worse than a head to a harpoon
Feeling worse than the burnt side of a dark spoon
I glance into the mirror to realise that i′m now a cartoon

Thinking it's a dream, i go to wash my face
But these puffy white gloves seem to be getting in the way
I thought oh well, fuck it i may as well embrace my new image
Smoke my woes away, and just call it a day

Push the key through the door, and down a glass of water
Feeling as though i′ve attained attention deficit disorder
Thinking a fat smoke session is in order
To find my weed sack's been jacked like a lamb to the slaughter, yo

I said my weed sack′s been jacked like a fuckin lamb to the slaughter

AHH!
Skunk sacks from Hector Crumpax
Been jacked by junkie scum rats

Yo, yo!
Skunk sacks from Hector Crumpax
Been jacked by junkie scum rats