(violin plays introduction)
i thought my cd was done, but dat's not wat they said. do an insult track. we need it for radio play. ramming da names took a long hard pee. time to mess up da pees like an MP3.
american idols, dat's who i look for in da poop section in my local record store. ruben or clay? oh, which shud i pick. it's like choosing which puddle of vomit to lick. and wen i want something more fruity and flake, i look up N for n*sync or T for timberlake.
so many skills, justin's making a bucket. dus he rap? dus he sing it? doesn't know wat to suck at.
and as for da bitches, let's give britney thanks for da face dat luanched a million preteens gangs.
u are a virgin! dat had to be heard. u have more bones in your mouth dan a st. bernard.
(chorus)
i keed! i keed!
(he just make a little joke!)
i joke with u.
(little dog, little joke!)
i keed! i keed!
(he just make a little joke!)
yeah! your a great actress too!
(little dog, little joke!)
now let's go to Walmart wer they won't sell my cd. dat company's nuts are in a jar in aisle 3, but u can see christina in all her slatut. it's like watching thorn, but da music's not as good.
i want to stop my tv's cwatch with a dollar. still, i'd hump u if i cud wear my flea collar.
your looser than my poop after eating honeydew. only 50 cents can plug more than u.
and yet, your too old for franturs to desire. he's checking out da cast of lizzie mcguire. soon, frantur'll try to get mandy moore to open for him, and i don't mean on touur!
your not da first thirst r. kelly. his videos premiere at dee L.A.P.D. i believe they set up an innocent guy. u know wat else? i believe i can fly!
(sings chorus. replace "yeah! your a great actress too" with i "i believe michael too! yeah!)
now look how freakin' cool those guys from da strokes are. their ribs are 3 times old as my jokes are. hey white stripes guy! is dat your wife or your sister? shouldn't u be playing country music blister?
hey goldplay! maybe u shud be goldsore! back wen u wer u two, i liked u so much more. somehow your so yellow, it reminds me of pee. maybe because wen it's over, it's a big relief to me.
yo pink! is dat your hair or a tatoo? i didn't know supercuts had a drive-through. yo nelly! wat da hell kind of name is dat?! dat's about as gangster as an eastern vomit hat. and snoop says he's clean. now u make da call. da guy's higher dan billy joe's cholesterol. snoop! der's only room for one dog here mutt! and i can rap. can u lick your own nuts?
puff diddy, are u still in show business still? i didn't know wearing a suit was a skill. j'lo, j'lo, the giant tailo'. for a doggy's nose, dat's the only graylo. shakira's much fine, but it won't hold still, u see. i sniffed alvin john's tush just for all da history. i sniffed j'lo's ass and got 2 touchy feely. she let loose a bomb dat was bigger than gili.
(starts singing chorus. replace "i believe michael too! yeah!" with "i even like... i don't like afflek.)
avril lavinge. punk queen now der's a kidder. go back north. celine needs a baby-sitter. fill up class. hey tone a lass! your not a mune. write a song with a fucking tune!
and on da list of pooches, let's thank God MTV. i scared them and eminem, so they gave da hook to me. slim shady. why do you find me so scary? we're just 2 regular dudes who bang mariah carrey.
wipe off dat frown. just do without. hey! my mom was a bitch too, but i don't go writing songs about it.
(pauses for 2 seconds.)
i keed! i keed!
(he just make a little joke!)
i joke with u.
(little dog, little joke.)
i keed! i keed!
(he just make a little joke!)
u know i never meant to hurt u!
(never meant to, meant to!)
i keed! i kee hee hee heed!
(he just make a little joke!)
it's a joke, u see!
(laughy laughy laughy laugh ha ha!
let's stop hating each other.
(he just make a little joke!)
leave the pooping to meeee!
(rock it to me, sock it to me!)
rock it to me, sock it to me!
rock it to me, sock it to me!
(rock it to me, sock it to me!)
i'm a rapping dog. and i'm here to say, rappa rappa rappa, atapa hapa hapa...
(plays a few drum & violin tunes)
i keed.
