Literal Dead Island 2 Trailer

Tobuscus

Playstation.
Deep Silver. Still.

Get a good look at the road I′ma run on.
Shoes tied nice, make sure there's no dirt on em.
Yeah. That′s perfect.
Check it out.
Both legs.
Kick it out.
Get ready.
Stretch it out.
Close up on the bulge.
Do the washing machine.
Close up on the bulge.
Feel the bulge.
Pat the bulge.
Good bulge.
Living the dream.
Crack the neck twice.

Perfect eyebrows? Check.
Perfect teeth? Check.
Perfect hair that blows in the wind? Check.
Insignificant flesh wound?
Cover it up with the white and gold.
Turn it up.
Show the gold. Yeah.

Close up on a Picture Perfect Fitness Guy.
Listening to music while he exercises.
Look down at his muscles periodically.
Gotta make sure he's the best thing on the beach.
I'ma jog right until I throw up. (Hooo)
I′ma jog right until I throw up.

Sees a lady - indicates he got a sweet six-pack.
Assume that she liked it but don′t look back.
She didn't like that, she don′t like it neither
When a couple zombies come out and start to eat her.
I'ma jog right until I throw up. (Hooo)
I′ma jog right until I throw up.
I'ma jog right until I throw up. (Hooo hooooo)
I′ma jog right until I throw up.

Then Hawaiian Shirt Hat guy's shotgun blasts
Kill every zombie in the whole city ('cept that one)
(And the ones in the background)
(There′s a lot, actually)
He failed.
He′s dead.
That sucks.
Shit.

Here come the VIP zombies on their stretch limo.
Disregarding safety doing
Venice Beach donuts.
Lumberjackin Limo driver fells a tree.
A News helicopter shoots in 360 degrees.
Thanks the zombies for the arial shot. (Hoo)
This segment's probably gonna blow up.

Oh noo. Oh noo.

Then Picture Perfect Fitness Guy gets varicose veins.
Still living the dream, just with less living.
Crack the neck two more times and then,
Open up and show them pearly whites again.

Zombie loses his new Donald Trump wig.
Arm rejects artificial bicep thing.
I′ma jog right until I throw up. (Oooh)
Zombie eyes then start to fog up.

Picture Perfect Fitness Guy's slightly less perfect now.
Hawaiian Shirt Hat guy looks about the same. (GRANDMA!)
Car-jumping zombie jumps on a car - that′s his thing.
HotHot Roller Skating Zombie starts spinning. (Baseball-bat swing)
Someone call security. Oh, you did.
Someone call the zombie with the boogie-board. Oh you did.
Someone call Scooby Doo!
... How is that relevant?
Why don't you ask him yourself.

From the background comes the Mystery Machine.
Cause Scooby Doo′s team's not afraid of nothing.
It's time for your close up.
Darkness. Darkness. Darkness.

Well, at least I still have my shoes. Aheh.
Aww man.
What is that sound?
You... ohh. you better not -
You put... you put my FOOT down.
You ain′t not gon′ take my shoes... MAN!
I LOST my TOUPEE, my implanted bicep,
And this man just pulls up in the Mystery Machine? Man.

"Get the Body You Deserve,"
Says the perfect picture of the Picture Perfect guy
From back when Picture Perfect guy was Picture Perfect.
Picture Perfect.
Picture Perfect. (Oh no)