I′m at the supermarket, gonna cop some rhubarb
I reach into my pocket, it's time to get charged
I pay in cash, and I know what happens next is strangeI flash a stunning smile and say
"You can keep the change"
Oh! What?
Oh, yeah, I′m a good person
You can have that money (it's yours)
And also coins are uncomfortable in my pockets, uh
Sitting by my computer, mom comes inside the lair
"It's smelling like a sewer, you should go get some air"
I′m gettin′ up and stretch, I'm filling up with pride
I open up the door and put a single foot outside
Oh! What?
Oh, yeah, I′m a good person
I leave my house (so healthy)
I'm gonna put my foot back inside of my house now, uh
My lifestyle′s quite unhealthy, I snacked recording this
Got an expanding belly, can't find a shirt that fits
Roll my chair to the kitchen, fill my snack bowl to the brim
Yeah, I know that might look bad, but then I sign up for a gym
Oh! What?
Oh, yeah, I′m a good person
I'm a gym member (gon' get ripped)
And I will go there sometime, I just haven′t decided on a date yet, uh
I′m chilling out in class, my teacher's such a jerk
And suddenly he asks, "Where is your homework?"
All my friends in panic, "No, was that today?"
I slap mine on the desk and say, "I′m gonna get an A+"
Oh! What?
Oh, yeah, I'm a good person
I do my homework (model student)
Turns out I plagiarized and now I′m in detention, uh
My mom is back again, "Can you take out the trash?"
Her mind was blown right then, "I did it before you asked"
Oh! What?
Oh, yeah, I'm a good person
I do my chores (for mommy)
Couldn′t find a trashcan so I dumped it in the ocean, uh
It's just a regular day or is it, grandma?
No, someone's changin′ age and it isn′t grandpa
Other grandsons may just write on Facebook walls
But I am grandma's special boy, so I am gonna call
Oh! What?
Oh yeah, I′m a good person
I remember birthdays (for example, February 7th)
You better think of me when you're drafting up your will, uh
I′m hanging out with Quinston, he is the coolest guy
Got 30K on Insta', always wears suit and tie
I tell him ′bout how good I am, but he says
"Bro, the people who are really good don't brag about it though"
What? You're saying that bragging about all the nice things you′ve done
Misses the whole point of doing nice things in the first place?
Oh! What?
Am I a good person?
I don′t brag ever (never did)
Now please excuse me while I go delete my Twitter, uh
Oh, and I gotta delete this song
Wait, it's already on YouTube and Spotify?
Well, hopefully no one will listen to it
