-Riff-
Dear kindly Seargant Krupke
Ya gotta understand
It's just our bringin' up-ke
That gets us outta hand
Our mothers all're junkies
Our fathers all're drunks
Golly moses, naturally we're punks
-All-
Gee, Officer Krupke
We're very upset
We never had the love that every child oughta get
We ain't no delinquents
We're misunderstood
Deep down inside us there is good
-Riff-
There is good!
-All-
There is good
There is good
There is untapped good
Like inside the worst of us is good
-"Krupke"-
That's a touchin', good story!
-Riff-
Lemme tell it to the world!
-"Krupke"-
Just tell it to da judge!
-Riff-
Dear kindly Judge Your Honor,
My parents treat me rough
With all the marijuana,
They won't give me a puff!
They didn't wanna have me,
But somehow I was had
Leapin' lizards, that's why I'm so bad!
-Judge-
Right! Officer Krupke, you're really a square!
This boy don't need a judge
He needs an analyst scare!
It's just his neurosis
That oughta be curbed
He's psychologically DISTURBED!
-Riff-
I'm disturbed!
-All-
We're disturbed
We're disturbed
We're the most disturbed
Like we're psychologically disturbed!
-Judge-
Hear ye, hear ye
In the opinion of this court,
This child is depraved
On account he ain't had a normal home.
-Riff-
Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm DEPRIVED!
-Judge-
*Hits Riff*
So take him to a head shrinker
You!
-Action-
Who, me?
-Riff-
My daddy beats my mommy
My mommy clobbers me
My grandpa is a commie
My grandma pushes tea
My sister wears a mustache
My brother wears a dress
Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess!
-Head Shrin
