The Ballad Of Dan

The Arrogant Worms

I'm out on the range, surveying the land

Thinking of the job that's to be done

My life is hard but I don't mind

Men like me, that's how the west was won

I stand the pain and the suffering

For on the trail I am the king

On doors I knock and on bells I ring

Always sure that I will get the sale



'Cause I am Dan the Insurance Salesman

In a beat-up Chevrolet I do ride

I rope them in and tie them up and bind them legally

And on the dotted line I make them sign

Hi-de-hey (Hi-de-hey, hi-de-hey, hi-de-hey) hey!



The door swings wide and I sense my prey

Ready to fall victim to my pitch

I tell him all about the plan

With all of its inherent benefits

If you lose an arm it's a thousand bucks

Lose both of them and get twice as much

And if you should die, well then, bless your luck

You'll just be raking in the cash



'Cause I am Dan the Insurance Salesman

In a beat-up Chevrolet I do ride

I rope them in and tie them up and bind them legally

And on the dotted line I make them sign

Hi-de-hey (Hi-de-hey, hi-de-hey, hi-de-hey) hey!



The sucker signs, the deed is done

It's time for me to get back on the road

A lonely man out on the land

Where the wind can blow so cold

I ride into the setting sun

With the knowledge of a job well done

But I can't rest until everyone

Has become properly insured



'Cause I am Dan the Insurance Salesman

In a beat-up Chevrolet I do ride

I rope them in and tie them up and bind them legally

And on the dotted line I make them sign

Hi-de-hey (Hi-de-hey, hi-de-hey, hi-de-hey) hey!



Yes, I am Dan the Insurance Salesman

In a beat-up Chevrolet I do ride

I rope them in and tie them up and bind them legally

For on the dotted line I make them sign