We don′t blot and rub
We've got lots of love
For our stainsOur Stains
Club soda and salt
We call that an assault
On our stains
Our stains
We′ve got lots of love for our stains
Love for our stains
Our stains
We've got lots of love for our stains
Love for our stains
Our stains
Our stains
Like that time I spilled a whole iced coffee on my terry cloth T
(The most absorbent T!)
On my walk home I saw a scene that I could not believe
(2 blocks from the Coffee Bean)
A man had a bus full of tourists hostage,
And a damn long list of demands.
Negotiators demanded da man give his demands
But the man ignored their commands, he just put up a hand he said
(Don't talk to me
Till I′ve had my coffee)
I went aboard the bus, said enough is enough,
Stuffed my t-shirt in his mouth and let him suckle the cuffs.
Caffeine in his veins, he′s no longer insane,
The whole bus gives me a round of applause
(He's a hero!)
Later I was on the news.
And so was Bruno Mars
Promoting his new album called "Line of Salad Dressings."
He showed me the napkin he wrote an early draft of 24 Carrot Sticks on
And said, wow I really like that shirt.
Cause I hadn′t changed my shirt
And now I'll never change my shirt
Which is why...
Playas... put yo′ pinky fingers in my ranch!
We don't blot and rub
We′ve got lots of love
For our stains
Our Stains
Club soda and salt
We call that an assault
On our stains
Our stains
We've got lots of love for our stains
Love for our stains
Our stains
We've got lots of love for our stains
Love for our stains
Our stains
Our stains
Like that time in 1995 I met R.L Stein and we both got slimed
(On Slime Time Live!)
We really hit it off, we went back to my house, still covered in slime
(They sat down on his couch)
I shook up a can of surge cola and let it rip
(A fully loaded citrus soda!)
RL squeezed a Squeeze-IT, then cheesed a Cheese-IT
Took trix yogurt freezed it, bit it, sneezed it
Cause he laughs when he eats it.
My buddy Aaron Lewis was down on his luck
He′d been sleeping on my couch for a while
All day long he writes great songs for a band that has no name
RL planned to empty a Barbasol can into Aaron′s right hand
Aaron woke up punched RL in the gut then saw the big mess that we made
And that was the day that Aaron proclaimed
I'M GONNA CALL THE BAND STAINED!
And we all got goosebumps
We don′t blot and rub
We've got lots of love
For our stains
Our Stains
Club soda and salt
We call that an assault
On our stains
Our stains
We′ve got lots of love for our stains
Love for our stains
Our stains
We've got lots of love for our stains
Love for our stains
Our stains
Our stains
Like that time last summer at my friend Ben Durand′s lake house
He did a bellyflop
(Full red belly from his neck to his waist!
Perfect horizontal entry straight into the lake!)
But here's thing, bellyflops were my thing, I was the king
But now everyone sings
(Zack's not the king of bellyflopping)
It was a huge stain on my reputation
But it was a blessing in disguise
Because now I could enjoy the lake house
Without constantly having to belly flop over and over
And at night I can sleep without my stomach stinging
Ya know, from all the belly flopping.
But I can still crowdsurf!
Put your hands up!
Ahhh hahahahaha!!!
YEAH!!!
WOOO HOOO HOOO
AhahahahahahaAHAHAHhahahahahaHAHA!
Playas, take yo pinky rings and tickle Zack.
HEHEHEHEHEHEHE
We don′t blot and rub
We′ve got lots of love
For our stains
Our Stains
Club soda and salt
We call that an assault
On our stains
Our stains
We got lots of love for our stains
Love for our stains
Our stains
We got lots of love for our stains
Love For our stains
Our stains
Our stains
