This is a work of fiction
Names, characters, businesses, events, and incidents are the products of the author′s Imagination
Any resemblance to actual person, living or dead, or actual events, is purely CoincidentalThis is a Shockocracy, this is satire, but Not Sees are real
It's not hard
To be a bard on four strings
It′s really not hard
To be a bard
On four strings
What's hard
Is being heard as a bard
Who has something nice to sing
But just can't sing the thing
That′s what′s hard
To be the kind of Bard
That would like to sing the nice thing
I'd prefer to sing the nice thing
Yes I would
That′d be good
Yes I would
That would be oh so good
So why am I stuck
Why am I stuck
Why am I stuck in the gateway between Heaven and Hell
Why am I stuck at the Gate, always riding the fence
Why can't I commence
The next part of the story
I don′t know the answer
Do you know yours? Of course I know you're
Listening with a heart to your own life
I do that too when I listen to music
That′s why I'm doing this for you
And a little bit for me
That's why I′m doing this for you
That′s why I'm doing this for me
Can you see? I′m just like you
You hear my out of tune Muse
You hear its dark views
You see the Lightning in its eyes
You see the angel wings but those are talons
This isn't talent, it′s talons
The talons of a Dark Eagle
A dark eagle looking over the landscape
A shadow moving over the ground
A dark eagle looking for pray, but preying on none
A dark eagle just looking at what's happening on the ground
From up above the Earth
A dark eagle just looking at the ground
To see if someone needs help
Could anybody else out there need some help? Maybe so
Help those you can
And the others you have to let go
You have to let them go
Because they need their freedom
They need their independence
They can′t be dependent upon you, that's right
They need their freedom
So they can grow the F up
You've grow Furies up your whole life
Why can′t one of them be your brother
You forgive everyone else but your brother
It′s time maybe for you to grow up, Doctor Deer
My name is Azrael
And I've been watching this shit-show
I don′t understand what's happening here
You got Cain and Abel
This is an old story, friends
Aren′t we past nursery school? Let's settle the matter
You have a recording of your brother renouncing his inheritance
That′s legal to do in the State of New Jersey, of course it is, that's right
You're the master spellcaster on Earth
You′ve researched magic right alongside psychology
It was the topic of your dissertation
And your post-doctoral studies on hypnosis, and influence and the truth
And you′re worried about him? Because of a mistake he made
Him? This guy
I'm sorry, but in 700,000 years I′ve never seen anything quite like this
Not since Cain and Abel
Why is this family so dramatic?
Wait a minute, they're Juice
Wait a minute
Oh
Joo on Joo crime
A jealousy crime
Oh yeah we wrote this shit in Genesis when we wrote books back then
And were the first storytellers of such things on earth
Well, kind of, OK not really
That′s a privileged view
The oral traditions of Africa were even deeper than those of the Middle East
And China already had sophisticated technological empires
Of course they did, as did Egypt
And then there were the Atlantians but let's not talk about those
Because we think that those were fake
And then let′s not about the Jain before the Buddhists
Who tracked 50,000 years of saints
Saints who taught kindness
Saints who taught letting go
Saints who taught how to be brothers with a murderer
Even if he's probably gonna be your murderer
Yeah well, maybe not, if you let him go
So let your murderer go, that's the thing
Let your murderer go, that′s what Azrael will sing
No, I′m not a demon from Hell
Why do you believe in Hell
Even Joos don't believe in hell if you′re religious
There's just the place of darkness
We call it Sheol
The place of darkness
It′s namelessness
It's namelessness
And if I call you my murderer, then you′re famous forever
Especially if you never murder me
You never murder me
Well then you'll be famous and rich, I guess, forever
Maybe you'll become a nicer person
You′ll probably never go to jail
I expect you′ll have me dead before that
I know how much you just wanted to win
What you did to Mom was horrible
How could you do that to our Mom
Unless she humiliated you, by your lack of success
Humiliated you, on every phone call
That's why I didn′t call her but every two weeks
Yet you called her every day
And I'm telling you that was a mistake
Sometimes you have to grow the Fury up my brother
And stop calling, my brother, our mother
Who is total care
Our mother, who knows a righteous Angel she raised
Our mother, who wants me to be your brother again
This is where I sing upon a Wing
This is where I rise above your eyes
This is where I fly into the Sky
And you wonder why
He′s flying so High
This is where I rise into the Skies
This is where I wing a Truth to sing
The Truth I bring before your eyes will rise
And it's not even Biblical
I′m letting him go as an act of Grace
Imagine a Serpent showing Grace
That's how it feels to him
I call Baal
Master, what do You have me here for
I've been sleeping
It′s very tiresome and depressing in the Pit
I′m waiting on new entries today
And I've had nothing to eat today
In fact, I would like to find something to eat soon
I might eat You, Master, if You′re not careful
I might You eat, Master, I might eat You
Unless you have a meal with me, Master
Unless you have a meal with me, Master, soon
Baal, Baal, how you doin'
It′s nice to see you again
Baal, Baal, how you doin'
Listen it′s just Me, Shockocracy's gate guy
I have to ask you for a favor
What is it Master
Listen, you gotta stop callin' Me that
Just because I command a regiment of angels that are angry because people lie
Doesn′t mean I′m all that
Baal, I'm askin′ you a question
Could you kind of channel somebody for me
It's the only man on Earth who I′m afraid of as a victim, you see
Master, just tell me who you want to channel
And I'll hold open Shockocracy′s gate
But you have to follow the rules if I channel him
You have to issue his rights, because
Honor Thy Father And Mother
You oath-keeping angel
Honor Thy Father And Mother
And the Mother needs you to honor him
Even if he tried to kill her, you have to honor him
Baal
Yes, master
I have to remind you that even though I'm a neutral angel, you're hellspawn
And you don′t understand the Commandments like people who don′t live in Hell
Honor Thy Father and Mother doesn't apply to their murderers at all
Their murderers have no standing in the Ten Commandments because they violated all Ten
Oh, well you′re getting me on a technicality, Master
I'm sorry, I assumed we were dealing with non-Commandment breakers
Well this is why my favorite magical spell that i teach the humans is
No, no, no, no
Go out of tune on purpose and say No
Go out of tune on purpose and say No
Just do it in one cut, and say No
The greatest weapon on Earth is No
The greatest weapon on Earth is No
Or it should be, it should be
It should be the greatest weapon on Earth
The First Amendment protects No
The First Amendment protects No
And it protects me as an angel of the First Amendment
Because I′m the Reverend Dr. Shipon
I've been ordained for a couple years
The Reverend Dr. Shipon, it′s not that hard to do
And all of my things since 2018 are protected under Freedom of Religion
Ultimate absolvable
Don't care who you are
Ultimate absolvable is me
Self-legitimizing entity
Who only affiliates with the righteous
I choose my patients that way
Even if they're on some sort of reform
I only choose the ones who are repentant
I only choose the ones who are remorseful
Forgiven is you
Forgiven is you
You little pussycat, forgiven is you
But as for your wife, I have nothin′ to do with pork that grows in Pennsylvania
I know she′s from Jersey
These are the slavery chords I was taught by my grandmother
The things she whispered in my ear
She taught me melodies that were the magic spells she could
And I just kind of figured out the rest
Why are Joos always playing goblin music
It's sounds like it′s really kind of weird and funky
Like klezmer and shit
Well, listen, Joos are playing those goblin chords to scare you away
We can be frightening or dramatic
I'll choose dramatic every time
But it′s actually a religious right in the United States to be that way
It's a religious right in the United States to be my way
The founders of the country protected me
The founders of the country protected people like me from you
The weird thing is
You get to have your life
That′s weird
You get to have your life because the standard of evidence in a criminal case
Is different from the one with the civil case, the civil case
The giant civil case also coming your way if I choose
You'll be like the Fat OJ
The Fat OJ
It'll be sensational - I′ll even get you a white Bronco
The Fat OJ
I don′t even know who I'm talking about at this point, I′m just babbling, you know, because
I'm clearly mad, the Master of Madness
You guys are funny, you know
I′m clearly flipped my lid
But sit down with me at a chess board, I might show you something
Put me before a judge, and I'll show you something else
If they let me talk
But I don′t know if I'll ever get a chance to tell my story before a judge
Because I think the murder's coming first
It′s not so crazy when it happened in your family
And everybody in your family agrees with you
Me, my two sisters, my brother-in-law, and my Dad
The only one who doesn′t agree is my Mother, and that's sad
Because she has a catastrophic brain injury
So Mom′s out, understand? At least I think so
Her consideration is taken off the shelf with the other people who love her
Closing the Door
And that's the Truth
And we′ll close the door with swords, we'll close the door with swords
We′re closing that Door with swords, forever
You think I'm doing this for money? I'm not
I′m doing this because of the righteous truth, of the truth, uncensored
That′s why we have an anti-censorship first rights item in the Bill of Rights
The very first one
It says when I sing my Truth, I can call it religion
Now why would an Angel call it religion
Well if he believes He's an Angel, it′s religion, Jesus Christ
And he's the Reverend Doctor Randolph Scott Shipon
Or he′s doing satire, which is protected, under the First Amendment
And it doesn't matter which way I say it
I′m so depressed, I'm so scattered, I'm so disorganized
I′m over it, so are you
I′m just setting the record straight while Baal here gets organized
Baal, are you going to conjure him or not
I'm doing A and F, and A and F, I want you to talk to me
Master, I′m ready to open the Gate
Get the whip, Baal
Hello, my brother
Hello, my brother
I'm doing what Elizabeth Gilbert did in the book Eat, Pray, Love
I′m in the basement conjuring my brother through a chalk Gate on the wall
That I think my daughter drew as a rainbow
You're standing in a pentacle
Being judged by lower level personnel
Garth Brooks said I have friends in low places
And I stand between Heaven and Hell
Thanks to you
Thanks to you
Thanks to you
And your lovely wife
I stand between Heaven and Hell for 20 years
While you libeled me for years
And slandered me for 20 years
Because of the shame of your whole life
You and your lovely wife
You libeled me and my sisters, and slandered us for years
And you also did Dad
He may be a little bit special
But you did Dad dirty, you did Dad
I′m a little special too
And way more talented than you
And the rules are I must send you out with forgiveness
Fuck
You have to stop calling the Masonic home
You're so close to being set free, by Me
You're so close to being set free, by Me
As Power of Attorney, I′m asking for a log of all your calls to me
I′ve made my position abundantly clear
That you and your wife are not to ever come near
And I'll work with the Prosecutor′s office to make sure that happens
I'm already making sure that happens
I put people on notice what I′m thinking as soon as I think it
Everybody disagrees with that
But I can say I was publicly honest the whole time
Unlike people who have secrets, I can't, I rhyme
When you sing you can′t keep secrets
When you sing you can't keep secrets
When you sing you can't keep secrets
I hate major chords
And so you are bored
I′m bored too
Just like you
I′m just playing this to punish you, this time
And so here's my obligation
When the Saints go marching in
I will deny you as my kin
But you get to live on this planet
When the Saints go marching in
Oh when the Saints go marching in
I′m gonna deny that you're my kin
But I guess you′ll be in that number
When the saints go marching in
I'm a saint, you′re a saint, we're all saints, even when ain't, we′re saints
I′m a saint, you're a saint, we′re all saints, even when ain't, we′re saints
When the saints go marching in
I'm gonna have to expect that you as my kin will hold me to account
If I can′t be normal and happy
When I'm alive
When I'm alive
When the only person who you treacherized was Mom and Dad
And we′re just supposed to really forget our older people like Mom and Dad
Wait a minute
I can′t do that, cause that's Nazi shit
I won′t do that, you see
So I'll fight for every other victim
I guess just not Mom and Dad
Wait a minute, wait, what? Alright wait, change this whole shit
This isn′t gonna work, artistically or anything like that
I mean, who wants to listen to shit like this
Is he still standing in the Gate
Y-yes, Master
Do I have to talk to him
No, he is bound and gagged, you don't have to talk to him
We wouldn′t expect it, his breath is horrible
I've already channeled him before, I don't need to talk to him, right
No Master, I′d advise that you don′t speak to him
I call in the Army of Light
The people living in their Truth
Speak of confession before God
Ask for forgiveness, Man
But not from Me
Kneel for the Maker
I can't
The wings don′t allow for kneeling
It's a design flaw
Listen, He has some great ideas, and He has some terrible ones, alright
One of them is that the wings are so big and heavy
That you actually can′t even move, alright
And when you go to kneel, it's like ahhh, you fall over
It′s horrible, so I don't advise the wings, ever, OK
It'll give you the most horrible arthritis you′ve ever had in your life
Alright mortal, can we dispense with the mortal? Yes, Master
I wish you well
I don′t wish you Hell
Just stay the hell away from Me and my Family
And it's the whole Shipon family
They′re My family
They stand being Me
And not behind you, ever, never behind you
You tried with Aunt M
All the stolen jewelry over 20 years, we never understood it
How could it be missing
All the slander that it could be someone else
Did you know that you were on Candid Camera
We had devices, we had devices in the house, for you, lovelies
We had devices, we had devices in the house, for you, lovelies
We knew that when Dad's necklace got stolen from his neck
It should have killed him, but it didn′t
Took you a while to try something else
But you kept trying it
Jennifer pretending to be Mom at Kohl's was a nice touch
I′m telling you anything you don't already know
Or the police officers don't already know
Or Mom doesn′t already know
And yet you stay with her
Baal, take off the tape
But Rand, I love her
She stuck by me while I was serving my time
I have to stick by her, too, while I′m serving her time
It's kind of romantic if you think about it, Rand
A man can′t testify against his wife
And in my life
I've been afraid to sing, I′ve been afraid to sing
I didn't want to disrespect anyone so I′ve been afraid to sing
I can tell secrets too
I can tell secrets, too, about you
I can tell secrets to you, about you, that you don't even remember about you
But I'm above it
I don′t want to be abnormal, like you
There′s privacy for a reason, Rand, it's true
So let me go out here
Far away
You don′t want me anymore
OK I get it
Just let me be out here
Where I can make money for my wife, and my cats, and me
I promise I already renounced my inheritance
To my mother, that's what I did
I′m not going to accept any help
Even though my brother offered it to me in front of my mother
Taking has hurt this family enough
I'm finally willing to be independent
If you never want to see me again, let me know
I promise we won′t attach our selves to any new families or hurt anybody else
And I'll keep my wife on a leash
That's what you want, Rand, right
Just let me go in peace
You let the President go in peace
Isn′t this America for redemption
Isn′t this America for second and third and fourth chances
Can't somebody really screw up, and reasonable doubt open the gate
I don′t want a shocking gate, Rand, I want a gate out
I'll try to be normal like You
I′ll try to be normal, like You, Rand
But I like football
And normal things
And other things that You can't talk about when You sing chords
I just wanna go, Rand, seriously
I don′t wanna be caught up in Your Music
I don't want to be identified by You
I don't want to be named by You
I just want my privacy, please
Uh, you created the story of My Life
And Mine is a public life
So No
Baal, put the tape on him again
You′re kicked out of the Family name
When you say Shipon, you′re not
By my religious authority, as a Commandment follower
I've stricken your name from the Book of Life
And no one knows you
You′re shunned
Don't pretend to be one of My relations, ever
You are shunned
Call yourself Roderick Black
I think that would be a wonderful name for that face
Roderick Black, in honor of your friend
Whom I really liked
Roderick Black
Uh, Azazel
Yes
Do you have any of those branding items available
No, we stopped branding people during the Obama administration
Trump didn′t bring it back
No, sir
Captain, can we get on with this, the audience is getting bored
OK, alright, just
Roderick Black, you're banished from Me
But go build something great
Go build something great, Roderick Black
Don′t send me a postcard
Don't send me anything at all
Stare at your wall
Or get something with a nice view
The audience wants me to move on from you
The audience has told me so
And so I have to let you go
I have to let you go
And they don't make brands at WalMart
No sir, Walmart stopped making brands a long time ago
I can′t call him my slave
No sir, he′s not your slave
What about indentured servant
No sir
What if we were in England
No sir, but France would put his ass in some kind of penitentiary
Huh
So
We let him go
Are you sure
Fairly certain
But that's just from my spirit, right
Yes, just from your spirit
Dismissed
I′m closing the gate, sir, and I'm pushing him through
Do it
Well that feels like I just took a big dump
I′m feeling less back pain it's true
I didn′t realize losing 350 pounds could ever feel this good
Imagine being nailed to Wood
Ha ha ha
I wish you could
I wish you had an imagination
The nation wishes you Wood
I have your schizophrenia right here
I know how to face it without fear
I've never been diagnosed with schizophrenia
I don't know anyone in my Family who has
They′re just about the sanest people in that world, my Family
Using up mental illness to cover up trauma
And when you′re one of the leading authorities in New Jersey on trauma
You know what you have to do with it, you process it through art
Well
I'm now a victim advocate
Through no fault of my own
Through no fault of my own
I always thought those people were shrill
Until one tried to kill me by reputation
And then I realized I was already free
Victim advocacy and conflict resolution, here I come
Victim advocacy, I′m already trained
And I am trained on a new target
Trained on a new target
Helping the abused become overcomers
Well, that was hideous
God, oh my God, that lasted so long
Listen, if you stuck with that, God bless you
I don't know how you do it
That′s the last thing you're ever gonna hear from me
About um, a certain You-Know-Who
I′m done
And that's just for the podcast
I'm not putting that on a record or anything
I can′t anymore, you′re taking up too much real estate
So I'm letting you go
Goodnight, I hope you enjoyed my imagination, and um
I don′t know, I don't know anybody who wants to listen to this crap
Forgiven is forgiven, and done is done, and that′s it
I hope everybody who's been waiting for me to get to this point is proud of me
God bless you
God Bless the United States of America
Keep open lines of communication in your family always
Do not keep family secrets
Secrets are the poison of families
Any secret will poison a family forever, and uh
Unless you bare all the secrets, uh, you uh, you just get murder, you just get murder eventually
It just adds up to murder
Murder She Wrote
Goodnight everybody, and remember, please remember
Live In Your Own Truth
