November

Sadistik

Sometimes, I can′t handle the cold
I'll break another heart too fragile to hold
Love dies, I′m standing alonePainting false hopes is a habit I've grown
Come find, why I said I don't love you
And instead I was humbled and content with the struggle
That you gave me, and said that I was crazy
Words grew to chains and love became safety

I saw trust until I lost the view
Then I lost faith in us like I always do
I refused to complement your weakness
Through all our ups and downs, ′til I was sea-sick
Flashbacks I remember so well
We both held in November, when the snow fell
But that changed, you were not a friend to me
I distorted and soon I lost identity
And when we fought and I tried to break the innocence
You said lies, and I became a hypocrite
You tried to hold the sadness when you grabbed tight
But I moved on from the shadows of our past life
You said you couldn′t live if I ran away
But part of me died anyway, when I had to stay
In a storm that I saw in ground view
When I couldn't find the eye, it was all about you

Year one
I felt the dear sun
A brand new hope before the tears come
Year two
I see in clear view
Ashamed of myself when I am near you
Year three
I watch the stars fade
I′m a zombie who's walking through a heartache
Year four
You′re forever away and the sun now shines as my memories fade

All the feelings I have are hard to word
I can't see the problem, my vision starts to blur
To an image of a violent struggle
Of a slow suicide since the time I loved you I′d
Gladly die if you'd pacify
But you need too many things that I cant provide, so
You looked for it inside another's arms
Lied through your teeth and cried that nothing′s wrong
It didn′t stop all the crying in public
Or telling me I'm not the only guy you were fucking! But
I gave in to all my fears instead
The only thing that ran more than me were the tears you shed

When you told me you cut inside your flesh
You′re depressed and you'd rather die instead
I could feel my heart tear to bits
The first time I′ve cried ever since my parents split
And I knew, there was no you and I
I kissed you goodbye, it felt like suicide
Or a bond that was made to sever
When I turned my back and wouldn't face the weather
And for a moment it felt like nothing mattered
There′s givers and there's takers, and you're just the latter
I needed help but I got a struggle
When I fell to pieces you wouldn′t solve the puzzle
We wept in puddles ′til we were lost at sea
With regretful struggles and a faded promise ring
Your hands were full 'cuz you seemed to hold grudges
While I chased both of our dreams through rosebushes, in November

I couldn′t think to hold a single hope
So I pressed on my luck until my fingers broke
I'm treading steps through quicksand of past love
To find closure from ice shoulders and hands touch
And my mind is still plagued with the fragrances
Of pain and bliss and all the things you made me grip
When I′d watch your face with teary eyes
And I had to hurt myself so I could feel alive, but
I found a place where the weather is much better now
In greener pastures, where the rain is never out
And your face is replaced by another
November's leaves stay but have changed for the summer

And my hope meddles where I go settle
In the line that blurs from love to rose petals
And the silence hurt, so I just followed through
On a beaten street, never reaching peaks which I saw in you
And now I see that you just took me for granted
Had a diamond in the rough and you still took me for granite
So I turned my back on things I thought mattered
Lamenting innocence and the halos that have shattered
In November we both gazed the seascapes
With each wave symbolizing things that we′d make
Love and war, we were born as keepsakes
To underscore love's accord when peace breaks, November