Life is just a salad as I sing into a bottle of ranch
Gotta add some dressing when the taste of everyday′s getting bland
Feels like I'm all aloneWith my ranch microphone
But then I realize
Hot mic on Instagram Live
Gotta keep it interesting or no one in this world′s got a chance
If life is just a salad
Guess I'm making healthy choices
Sound check with the bottle cap
I'm warming up my voice and
Flip into a freestyle
Now I′m riffin′ off the dome piece
Slip into the zone
Just as the tempo starts to increase
Life is obscene
Feels so serene
Trapped in a bowl
That is filled with mixed greens
No one can stop me
From bringing the topping
Here comes the ranch
Bottle is popping
Bringing the sauce
Time for a toss
Knee deep in vegetables
Kickin' it raw
What′s going on?
Here come the tongs
Slingin' a remix
Caught in the prongs
Life is just a salad as I sing into a bottle of ranch
Gotta add some dressing when the taste of everyday′s getting bland
Feels like I'm all alone
With my ranch microphone
But then I realize
Hot mic on Instagram Live
Gotta keep it interesting or no one in this world′s got a chance
Something's really buggin' me
Yeah, it′s my smoke detector
Thing is on low battery
And it is beeping constantly
Much respect for fire safety
Down with Safety Pup
But it′s driving me insane
And now I've really had enough
Exit my apartment
And I duck into an alley
Jump into the dumpster
And transport to Hidden Valley
Must of accidentally fallen
Down into a portal
Though I′m in a foreign land
I somehow feel immortal
Does it seem familiar
Is it me being unstable?
Cause it looks just like the bottle
Of my ranch right on the label
Not sure what is happening
I'm discombobulated
I guess singing into condiments
Is vastly underrated
Life is just a salad as I sing into a bottle of ranch
Gotta add some dressing when the taste of everyday′s getting bland
Feels like I'm all alone
With my ranch microphone
But then I realize
Hot mic on Instagram Live
Gotta keep it interesting or no one in this world′s got a chance
Suddenly it's like a concert
Sprouts up from the ground
Veggies playing instruments
In Dolby full surround
Carrot's on the bass
Lettuce on the drums
Cucumber′s on lead guitar
And now he starts to strum
Appearing right in front of me
Though I don′t understand
It's a slender stalk of celery
I realize it′s a stand
Pull out my ranch mic
And I notice it's plugged in
Now it′s making sense to me
That's when I start to sing
Life is just a salad as I sing into a bottle of ranch (I′ve got my bottle of ranch)
Gotta add some dressing when the taste of everyday's getting bland (when everything's tasting bad)
Feels like I′m all alone (I′m so solo)
With my ranch microphone (my microphone)
But then I'm amped to see (I′m amped to see)
My veggie band with me (veggie band with me)
Gotta keep it interesting or no one in this world's got a chance
