There are certain times
When I wished I wasn't so alive,
And I would take it out on people
Like they were dead
I blow them away with words so red,
Chops their skulls from their shoulders,
And they run circles
Till they fall off the face of the earth
It only works if I know enough
About you to pierce your heart,
Your soul, and if you've pierced mine
It only works if you've touched me
Soft with patterns of trust
I disengage the bond
If my paranoia seeps to the surface like vomit
Why do you even bother?
It happens when I hate myself to the bone
Broken mirror I feel alone
Did you ever wonder if I smiled at home
Away from your prying eyes?
Did you ever wonder if I smiled at home
Away from my worldly disguises?
Deep thought crushes me
With bombs and ill-will
Feeds on interpretation until
I'm inhuman, a beast
I resent you for your cold streak
Backwards I walk, talk, and think
I lose myself in a cradle of a sadistic hate
I slowly shake
It rings in my blood, and I salivate
Like a chorus of cats in heat,
For the slightest contact,
With my sharp long looks and calls
I starve for attention
I run from myself towards a wall
There's no escaping me,
I jump and stall
Your hand still clutching my ankle,
I viciously let go with thoughts,
Yells, rivers, translations of my life from hell,
In the split second before
The concrete smashes my face
They cut you deeply
I smell your blood like a fiend,
And reach even deeper,
I masturbate mentally
With the strange power pain has blessed me with
I can't stop until you hit the floor
My arms I hold out,
I let you fall thru them
Secretly smiling I bring you down
To my level of broken-ness
We're such dragons
Maybe if I loved myself more
I could stand to look myself in the eyes
And wipe away those sharp tears
I could blow you away,
For how you
