i wish to register a complaint,
hello miss,
what you mean miss?
i'm sorry i have a cold,
i wish to make a complaint,
sorry we're closed for lunch,never
mind that my lad i wish to complain about this parrot which i purchused not half an hour ago from this very botic,
the norweigian blue,
whats wrong with it?
i'll tell you whats wrong with it my lad,
it's dead thats whats wrong with it!
no no its restin,
look matey i know a dead parrot when i see one,
and i'm lookin at one right now,
no no hes not dead squire hes restin,
remarkible the norweigian blue,
beautiful plomige,
the plomige don't enter into it,
hes stone dead,
no no hes restin,
alright then if hes restin i'll wake him up,
hello polly parrot!
i've got a lovly delicous can-fish
for you!
there he moved!
no that was you hittin the cage,
i never!
yes you did!
hello polly!
wakey wakey!
(bang bang)
testing
(bang bang)
charlotte!
(bang bang)
this is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(bang bang bang bang bang)
now thats what i call a dead parrot!
no no hes stunned!
stunned?
you stunned him just as he was wakin up!
norweigian blues stun easily
now listen here i've had enough of this
that parrot is definitly deseased,
and when i purchused it not half an hour ago,
you ashored me that its total lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out after a long squarck!
well hes proberly pining for the fehawks,
pining for the fehawks?
pining for the fehawks,
what kind of talk is that?
why did he fall flat on his back the moment i got him home?
the norweigian blue prefers kippin on his back,
remarkible bird aye squire beautiful plomige,
look i took the liberty of examaning that bird when i got it home,
and i discovered the only reason it had been sittin on it's perch in the first place was that it had been nailed there!
cause it was nailed there,
if i hadn't have nailed that bird there,
it would have musuled up to them bars,
bent em apart with his beak and voom!!!
voom?
mate this parrot wouldn't voom if you put four million volts though it!
its bleeding demise!
no no hes pining!
hes not pining hes passed on,
this parrot is no more,
he has ceased to be,
it's a stiff,
he rests in peace,
hes snuffed it,
hes up the tree and kicked the bucket,
hes shuffled on to moncoil,
run down the curtain,
hes joined the bleedin choir of desitu,
hes exint it is his intirity,
this is an ex-parrot!
well i better replace it then!
you want anything done in this country you gotta go eeeeh,
sorry squire i've had a look round the back and we're all out of parrots.
i see i see i get the picture.
i gotta a slug!
does it talk?
not really,
well it's scaresly a replacement is it!
bleedin slug!
listern mate
i never wantn't to be a pet shop owner any way,
you know what i wanted to be,
i wanted to be a lumberjack!
leapin from tree to tree as they float down the rivers of british columbia,
the giant red wood, the fir, the mighty scots pine,
the smell of fresh cut timber,
with best gal by my side we'ed
sing sing sing.
