Uh, chopping garlic by myself
You know ain′t nobody worried bout' yo health, right
(Right?)Keep a condom by my belt
You know better than to trust somebody else, right
(Right?)
Uh, smokin′ ganja but I'm still on probation
You wont tell nobody else, right
(Right?)
Grab that vodka from the shelf
I know it don't my problems, but it helps
Uh, here′s another song for you to skip, My Guy
To be honest with you I don′t give a shit, My Guy
I'm saying whatever I want and that′s it, My Guy
A big part of me is bout ready quit, My Guy
4th floor in my apartment, microphone in front of me
I'm playing Donnell Jones wondering where I wanna be
All this energy I put out, will it ever come to me
Do I want to much from you or do you want to much from me?
What happens when your only love never brings you joy?
What′s left for you?
All this art in me took arteries out my chest for you
Until I'm all out of breath
With my dogs on the left
Tryna crawl to success, yes (yea)
All my niggas Tryna ball even on off seasons
Mama say you off the wall you need to call on Jesus
Walaikum Salam, brother Demond on my receiver
He say where them new songs at, we need ya
(Ahki, where you been at man?)
Chopping garlic by myself
You know ain′t nobody worried bout' yo health, right
(Right?)
Keep a condom by my belt
You know better than to trust somebody else, right
(Right?)
Uh, smokin' ganja but I′m still on probation
You wont tell nobody else, right
(Right?)
Grab that vodka from the shelf
I know it don′t my problems, but it helps
You know a lot of my songs all about alcohol and women
Maybe I should talk about one I ain't put my dick in
She god fearing, not a big fan of religion
For the sake of time I′m a skip by all the beginning
It was round the summer time when all this happened
By the Ida's B′s walking pass I ran into Eze Jackson
We started rapping
About the Whole Bushel Live
Squeegee boys at ya ride
Album mode, what's the vibe
I said Which Way Is- the phone interrupted
Who fuck is this, somebody always wanting something
Oh nah, this the homie, she′s actually dope
Yo, give me one second bro
And then I answer the phone like "what up hoe"
Normally we joke
It took her a couple seconds before she even spoke
She said are you too busy for talking on the phone cause
Its been a hard day and I'm really feeling alone
Like, whats been going on...
I ain't heard this tone from her often
She said she was in pain but she dancing round the problem
She steady pausing and hesitating while she talking
Then she said it fast like she was Tryna hurry past it
I got Cancer and I′m hurtin′
I only told you my father and one other person
And that's where it′s gon' end
Cause people can′t wait to pretend they really care then treat you differently
Keep that same energy, bitch I don't want your sympathy
I rather suffer in silence before I let them pity me
Niggas in my DM better slide thru with a remedy
I′m tired
I know my family gotta know eventually
I'm just not ready to be someone else when they mention me
From Noelle, that slick girl
To "yea that's the sick girl"
"Shorty cool as shit" girl
To "hope she find a fix" girl
Watching life change before my very eyes
I know I′m sounding tough but Mike I′m terrified
Fuck a Perc I'm poppin′ vitamins like they Sour Patches
Asking God why this happened
For hours been shouting at him
I feel betrayed
I never strayed and now I'm abandoned
Cry till I′m crying laughing
My eyes never dry on the inside I just hide em behind the glasses
Frame of mind that you can not imagine
Not time for sobbing when I'm in traffic with stomach pains
God these stomach pains
That come and go I never know cause no day is this same
The cells in my body ain′t got no good reception
On day a shower feels like heaven
The next its feeling like a weapon
Liquid needles on my back, I been thinking bout that chemo
But I'm more afraid of that, I've seen what it does to people
I been searching for the facts
I′m on google till my eyes hurt
Praying on a maybe
Hoping they can save me
Hemp oil and fruit but
I can′t pay for too much
These hospitals Klu Klux
I'm beat down and juiced up
I re found a true love
For life and all the simple things, it′s been a long year
I see it all clear
We think of life in the physical, yo music is a miracle
Cause when you dead and gone you got yo songs that you'll be living through
Words are strong enough to hold a heavy heart
To play inside a home
And know you not alone
Between you an me I been tryna make jewelry but
How do you stay inspired thinking about ya eulogy
It′s hard creating light inside the darkness
Then I realized I'm on some God shit
In genesis that′s how this all started
My conscious exalted
I'm done eating garbage
I only eat this raw shit
I barley salt it
And I find, my better days come with a positive mind
Someone's on my other line, I′ll call you back like after nine
Click
And now I′m sick cause her problem I can't fix
And I′m stuck with survivors guilt and I feel more guilty for feeling guilty
The nerve of me
Like her struggle could burden me
When her life's an uncertainty
It′s too much at one time
I don't know what how to feel
I don′t know what to feel
It's too fucking real
We had that conversation in July
Last night at 3am while I was working on my rhyme, then she was lurking on my mind
And so I had to check, on my friend and sent a text
Are you up? and she said yep
Wyd? she said
Chopping garlic by myself
You know ain't nobody worried bout′ yo health, right
(Right?)
Keep a condom by my belt
You know better than to trust somebody else, right
(Right?)
Uh, smokin′ ganja but I'm still on probation
You wont tell nobody else, right
(Right?)
Grab that vodka from the shelf
I know it don′t my problems, but it helps
