Never gonna be what I wanna say
Always gonna be in my own way
Never gonna ′scape all of this painAlways gonna be trapped in my brain
Trynna find my way outta this maze
Trynna find the heart that I locked away
I have some things that I really need t'say
Y′all gonna be my journal for the day
Spinnin' my head right round
Like a record baby
Being put down
Give me all the sound
Morphine in my ears
As I drown it out
I always seem to fade away
Always seem to hide away
Everything I wanna say
But that's not today
I′m gonna be
Talkin′ bout my feelings
As I fall apart at the seams
The world is decimating
Every part of me
Gotta be
Better than I used to be
Protect my girl from everything
Especially
The thoughts inside my head
Fightin' like a war
And I′m so sore
Shot through my heart
And it's been torn
Sittin′ on the floor
Trynna figure out
How to get out
Of this place that doubt built
And I can't seem to find my fill
Of the life I know is still
Out there for me
Even if I can′t seem
To find a thing
Find even a shred of reprieve
As I try to see
Past all of the negativity
That's sittin' right in front of me
Negative is all I see
Yeah
In front of me
Yeah
′Cause nothin′ seems to work right
Nothin' ever is fine
Never seem to lock tight
All the positivity
Everything I always need
Only ever just a dream
Cause there′s never a cure for me
I'm just trying to stay afloat
In this leaky boat
As I float away
In this lake that my tears made
′Cause
Never gonna be what I wanna say
Always gonna be in my own way
Never gonna 'scape all of this pain
Always gonna be trapped in my brain
Trynna find my way outta this maze
Trynna find the heart that I locked away
I have some things that I really need t′say
Y'all gonna be my journal for the day
Sittin' here I′m thinkin′
'Bout all that I coulda been
All that I should′ve said
And everything I wish I'd did
Every time
Every try
Every lie that I make
Every time
I say it′s fine
When it's not okay
When I cry
When I die
A little more inside
As I try to find
Another way to get to the light
It′s getting harder to see
What's in front of me
The future is depressing
And my present is bleak
I'm hyperventilating
As we speak
4 seconds in
8 seconds out
Do it over and over again
Until I pass out
I′m just trynna hold myself up
When it′s all fallen down
But I guess I'm stuck
In this place that makes me feel like I′m just not enough. Yuh
Like I'm not enough
Like I′m just stuck
In this hell
That I made for myself
And it'll never change
I′ll never change. Yuh
Never change what's inside me
I try to see
All the beauty
Within everything
But I'll never get the chance to see
All the blooming
Flowers and the trees
Everything that makes me happy
I′ll never see
No
Cause
Never gonna be what I wanna say
Always gonna be in my own way
Never gonna ′scape all of this pain
Always gonna be trapped in my brain
Trynna find my way outta this maze
Trynna find the heart that I locked away
I had some things I really had t'say
Thanks for being my journal for the day
