John C. Clark (The Gasman Song)

Karine Polwart

John C Clark is a really nice man
He works in gas installation
And he drives a gas installation van
Fill it up at the local gas station
And you know I never saw him with a woman before
The women round here think they're worth a lot more
He's the kind of man your mother would adore
And that's no recommendation

Well John C Clark ain't too good looking
I guess he looks like a gas installer
And for all that gas he still ain't cooking
Yeah he could do with being six inches taller
But then I ain't no pretty picture myself
I've been sitting round here too long on the shelf
And I could dream about being with somebody else
But he could be a whole lot smaller

John C Clark has a crush on me
I know he told me so one Sunday
And at the time since I didn't have any other offers
I agreed to meet him on the Monday
And the big surprise is that we really got on
We talked about all kinds of wierd things til dawn
I plucked up the courage and said “Hey John,
Would you meet me again on Friday?”

And so we met at the pizza parlour in town
By then my belly was warming
And while we were waiting on the tiramisu
I kissed him without warning
I said “I'm not getting any younger you know
And would you like to give it a go”
He replied, “I guess so”
And I packed my things in the morning”

Now me and John we live together
We have a house that's full of laughter
We've got gas central heating, our bellies are always warm
And besides John has insulated the rafters
And you know we really like each other a lot
And for all the gas we will never be hot
But we're making the best of what we've got
We're living happily ever after