When I got to the golden city
Most of the gold was gone
By that time I had some questions
So I flagged down a race-car bum
He said "Sonny I don't know where it's going,
But I can show you where it all comes from"
And he mopped his red forehead and he pointed
Straight into the setting sun
And people let me tell you
That what I then did saw
It sent such a shock to my system
That I almost fell down dead on the floor
'Cos the sun had a big chunk missing
About 24 carats wide
And I stared into that hole in the golden sun
And you wanna know what I saw inside?
I saw a giant toothpick factory
And it made my very soul feel sick
'Cos when I say I saw a toothpick factory
I mean I saw a factory made out of toothpicks
And that factory was a-hoppin' and a-jumpin'
And a-roaring and letting off steam
And you know that that ain't all now
Let me tell you what else I seen
Behind the factory was a giant mutant monster
With sixty-seven seperate tails
And each one was a-wiggling and a-waving
And each one as long as twenty-three whales
And at the tip of each towering tendrils
Were a dozen tiny pencils of lead
And each word they wrote was in a different language
And when you put them all together they said
"You who have arms to wrestle
And you who have wars to fight
And you who have chips on your shoulders
Must now line up and stand to my right
But you who are meek and lawful
And you who are soft and kind
If you don't want to see something awful
Run and get yourself a rock to hide behind
'Cos these colours are just a signal
And these colours are just about to fade"
And when I read those words I shivered
And I saw exactl what the factory made
Out of a little doorway
At the end of a conveyor belt
In the centre of a ring of fire
Half the size of a postage stamp
Were a million household items
Packed into a metal Dukes Of Hazzard lunchbox
And they were all shut and sealed and f
