M: Hello Melinda here.
G: Yeah mate, uh, you are the masseuse?
M: That's me
G: Mate I will need to come and see you, right? Because I have sustained a breakdancing injury.
M: A breakdancing injury?
G: Yeah mate, I was too ambitious with a maneuver. Alright mate?
M: Right
G: And ah, I have strained a muscle mate.
M: Well that is no good. I won't be able to help you today though. I could help you possibly tomorrow though.
G: Alright mate I come in because I think I have damaged one of my perfectly formed, sculpted, toned and tanned calf muscles. Alright?
M: Right
G: Mate you can work on that?
M: Yep, sure.
G: Alright mate. Now mate there's a bit...
M: When did you actually sustain this injury?
G: Mate, it was yesterday, right?
M: OK
G: I was on my mat in front of the mirror,
M: What?
G: Doing ah... do not laugh my friend, please.
M: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
G: I was ah, I was...
M: I'm sorry.
G: I was doing ah, electric bugaloo
M: OK
G: and mate ... mate I think you have strained a muscle mate
M: I have, but merely...
G: Mate I think you have strained a muscle called your heart
M: Hm, no not really, not yet
G: Mate I will explain, right?
M: Yep. So you're in front of the mirror yesterday doing... look I'm terribly sorry... I... hm
G: Mate it's alright, alright? Do not worry, alright? I am a very tall, very good looking man
M: That's excellent news
G: OK mate?
M: Yep
G: Alright mate, and women, when the work on my body, alright? Afterwards they fall into a trance-like state mate
M: Wow
G: Alright?
M: That must be really, um, unsettling for you
G: Mate it's a problem, right? But ah, they do not come out of it for weeks, alright?
M: No kidding?
G: Mate, do you know what doctors call that state?
M: No, enlighten me
G: Love
M: OK
G: Alright mate? So this what we do.
M: Yeah
G: I come in there
M: Right
G: Alright? Now I've gotta ask you one question, right?
M: Alright, fire away
G: Do you believe in God?
M: Um, oh gosh, er
G: Because I tell you my friend, you will when I take my shirt off. Alright mate?
M: Ah, OK
G: Mate probably before you have worked on skippy, poofy, skinny er, skippy guys, alright? Alright?
M: Yeah
G: But it's time for you to see the Greek man
M: Ah, OK
G: OK?
M: Yep
G: Now Greeks, mate, we invented massage, alright? Listen to you laughing... mate I think you need to see the doctor mate, alright?
M: Yes well...
G: Mate you are sick with love
M: Hm, not quite. Well look I have to go. Thank you very much for your call
G: Alright mate
M: OK, bye
G: Alright mate? Take a strong sedative and have a lie down, alright?
M: OK, bye for now
G: Goodbye my friend
