Selfish

Gemstones , Precious

Should I take it with a blade or use a knife?
Whatever I just pray I do it right?
I probably won′t make it through the nightI tell them that it's better suicide

Drowning in depression as the tears pour
Asking yourself what am I here for
Questioning the dear lord Convinced there′s nothing left to live for
Molested when you was a child
By the Chester with the creepy smile
Pressured you to do some things that's really foul
Your mom accepted it cause she was in denial
Convinced yourself abuse is love, which led to your abuse of drugs
I bet every time you in the tub
You imagining your body floating in the suds
Contemplating suicide
Tried it once but you survived
Standing in the mirror, devil in your eyes!
Should I do it from the front, or shoot it from the side?
Blaming God for what's been done to you
Feel he gave you life to punish you!
Hurt by everyone you run into!
End up walking on you like some running shoes
Always thought you wasn′t mommas best
That you were treated different from the rest
So in your mind you think you worth less, you ain′t worth dirt!
You deserve death!
Imaging your soul tore
On the bathroom on that cold floor
With your back against that closed door
And you slash your wrist with slow force

Blood running down your wrist. Dripping from your finger tips
Pills causing you to drift
Slipping into the abyss

Should I take it with a blade or use a knife? Walls are starting to close in on you
Whatever I just pray I do it right? You can't see your wake anymore
I probably won′t make it through the night. Everybods against you
I tell them that it's better suicide. My God

Your esteem ain′t where it need to be
You gotta learn to let these demons free
Let all the suffering within you cease
And the small love within you be increased

I speak a prophecy inside your life: that you be guided by a shining light
That you won't die but be a sign of life
That you are flier than defined heights

That the wings you grow forever soar
That you redeem whatever that was yours
That you have dreams of heavenly rewards
That your esteem forever be restored
That you′ll oppose to such a tragedy
That it would never come to pass and be
That you would rather walk a path of glee
And give your troubles to your majesty

I pray you be the head and not the tail
I pray your footsteps create a trail
I cast depression to the pits of hell
That which you wrestle with shall not prevail

I bind the voices that have conquered you
And said the dreams would always run from you
God redeems the just and I'm the proof
You uncling from us you monster you!
I speak forgiveness in your rainy soul
That you forgive yourself and gain control
The same dealer dealt the reigns to Job
That joy cometh when the rooster crows

Should I take it with a blade or use a knife?
Whatever I just pray I do it right? Right now I come against depression, I come against rejection
I probably won't make it through the night. I come against those demonic spirits that have hindered you
I tell them that it′s better suicide. I come against rebellion I come against abuse I come against regret, I come against anxiety

Should I take it with a blade or use a knife? I come against financial loss. I come against cocaine addiction, I come against heroin abuse
Whatever I just pray I do it right? I come against neglect, I come against molestation, I come against worry
I probably won′t make it through the night. I come against self-hatred I come against anything that has hindered you from the divine will that God has set for your life
I tell them that it's better suicide