Your majesty I have a confession my secret I must now betray
I was not a born fool it took work to get this way
When I was a lad I was gloomy and sad
And I was from the day I was born
When other lads giggled and gurgled and wiggled
I proudly was loudly forlorn
My friends and my family looked at me clammily
Thought there was something amiss
When others found various antics hilarious
All I could manage was this –hoo hoo
Or this – hoo waahhh
My father he shouted he needs to be clouted
His teeth on a wreath I'll hand him
My mother she cried as she rushed to my side
You're a brute and you don't understand him
So they send for a witch with a terrible twitch
To ask how my future impressed her
She took one look at me and cried hehehehehe, he?
What else could he be but a jester?
A jester a jester, a funny idea a jester
No butcher no baker no candlestick maker
And me with the look of a fine undertaker
Impressed her as a jester?
Now where could I learn any comical turn
That was not in a book on the shelf
No teacher to take me and mold me and make me
A merryman fool or an elf
But I'm proud to recall that in no time at all
With no other recourses but my own resources
With firm application and determination
I made a fool of myself!
I bought a little gun and I learned to shoot
I bought a little a horn and I learned to toot
Now I can shoot and toot ain't that cute?
I started to travel to try to unravel
My mind and to find a new chance
When I got to Spain it was suddenly plain
That the field that appealed was the dance
The Spanish were clannish but I wouldn't vanish
I learned every step they had planned
The first step of all isn't hard to recall
Cause the first step of all is to stand
And stand
And stand, and stand, and stand, and stand, and
They sometimes stand this way for days
Then they get very mad at the floor and start to stomp on it
After all of my prac
