Cows With Guns

Dana Lyons

Fat and docile, big and dumb

They look so stupid, they aren't much fun

Cows aren't fun



They eat to grow, grow to die

Die to be et at the hamburger fry

Cows well done



Nobody thunk it, nobody knew

No one imagined the great cow guru

Cows are one



He hid in the forest, read books with great zeal

He loved Che Guevera, a revolutionary veal

Cow Tse Tongue



He spoke about justice, but nobody stirred

He felt like an outcast, alone in the herd

Cow doldrums



He mooed we must fight, escape or we'll die

Cows gathered around, cause the steaks were so high



Bad cow pun



But then he was captured, stuffed into a crate

Loaded onto a truck, where he rode to his fate

Cows are bummed



He was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozy

No one suspected he was packing an Uzi

Cows with guns



They came with a needle to stick in his thigh

He kicked for the groin, he pissed in their eye

Cow well hung



Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door

Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor

Run cows run!



He picked up a bullhorn and jumped up on the hay

We are free roving bovines, we run free today



We will fight for bovine freedom

And hold our large heads high

We will run free with the Buffalo, or die

Cows with guns



They crashed the gate in a great stampede

Tipped over a milk truck, torched all the feed

Cows have fun



Sixty police cars were piled in a heap

Covered in cow pies, covered up deep

Much cow dung



Black smoke rising, darkening the day

Twelve burning McDonalds, have it your way



We will fight for bovine freedom

And hold our large heads high

We will run free with the Buffalo, or die

Cows with guns



The President said "enough is enough

These uppity cattle, its time to get tough"

Cow dung flung



The newspapers gloated, folks sighed with relief

T

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