KWIRK
Captain's log; Stardate: 3.142857--Aw, forget about it! This is Captain Kwirk on the Starship Intercourse. Thrusting its way through space, on another penetrating mission.
(“Alleluia” song is playing.)
HUNKIE
Captain! Captain! What's that in space ahead?
KWIRK
Huh? Oh no, it's another space tricky! Darn this solar system anyway! Nothing but space trickys. Get the phasers on that bird.
HUNKIE
Captain! Captain! All the stars have gone out!
KWIRK
No, you fool! You've leaned on the button! Turn the viewer back on! Now get the phasers on that bird.
LOUD VOICE
I am an Angel of the Lord!
KWIRK
(the effects slow down like a record)
Yeow! That baked him good!
HUNKIE
Oh wow, it looks just like Thanksgiving out there!
KWIRK
Don't think about it, Lt. Hunkie!
HUNKIE
I can't help thinking about it. Last Thanksgiving was rotten. Just that food supplement pill with “turkey” written on it. It's not the same, Captain. It's not the same.
KWIRK
Turn off the view screen, we're out here and this is where we are.
HUNKIE
Why can't I think about it? I'm an officer, too.
KWIRK
You've got enough to think about, you've got a whole dashboard to take care of.
SMOCK
Captain, have your (?) space turkey has knocked up slightly off course.
KWIRK
Well, Lemon...
SMOCK
It's Leh-meen, sir.
KWIRK
Now we must get back on course.
SMOCK
It's Leh-meen, sir, did you hear me say that?
KWIRK
Nah--uh--y-yes--uh--uh, Lie-nen, uh, but we must get back on course.
SMOCK
Yes sir, we must get back on course, do you want to check the reading?
KWIRK
Aw yes, let me see, the “quick brown fox.”
SMOCK
That is the wrong reading, I'll check this.
KWIRK
Oh, oh, I see, yah, yes, n-now my communicator. Get me engineering.
EUBANGDERE
That's my box, Captain!
KWIRK
