The Nervous Wreck Of The Edna Fitzgerald

Camille West

We sailed away from Hunting Bay

As the waters were calm as could be-oh

On our new cabin cruiser,

The first time we used her

'Twas just the family and me-oh

And my husband stod proud in his new captain's hat

Using words like "Ahoy there" and shit like that

So we took the kid and Cleo our cat

And set out to conquer the sea-oh

Everyone loved it but Cleo-oh



And it's yo ho over the sea

The salt and the spray and the cool ocean breeze

Pass me a bottle of Perrier, please

This is the life for me



The tranquillity three miles out to sea

Suddenly came to an end-oh

When the kid started saying,

"No way I'm staying

I'd rather be playing Nintend-oh."

And the captain cried,"Ho there, you little snot

I paid sixty grand for this family yacht

You're gonna enjoy yourself, like it or not

So you'd better learn how to pretend-oh

(We all caught the man's innuend-oh)



So it's yo ho over the sea

The salt and the spray and the cool ocean breeze

Pass me a bottle of Dramine, please

This is the life for me?



My husband the captain was checking the charts

While the criser was burning up fuel

And the kid threw the cat in, trolling for sharks

He called it a project for schoo-el

I reached down to pull the cat in by the tail

When I saw what was left my complexion went pale

That's when I lost my lunch over the rail

The kid thought the whole thing was coo-el

Mama was not feeling too-well



So it's yo ho over the sea

The salt and the spray and the cool ocean breeze

Pass me a bottle of Valium, please

Is this the life for me?



We ran out of fuel by mid-afternoon

And the clouds were moving in fast-er

And the captain did say,"Thee's no more Perrier"

Which made it a total disast-er

With hardly a warning it started to pour

And we drifted 'til we reached the New Jersey shore

(Never thought I'd be glad to