What If Eminem Did Jingle Bells

Bob Rivers

Yo Yo



Jingle bells, jingle bells, jinglin' all the way

Oh what fun it is to ride from Detroit to East LA



Is this a white Christmas,

Hell no my man,

I'm leavin' blood in the snow

And smackin' fat men

You mean Santa?

That boys' a ---------

He caught my mom Christmas Eve and tried to give her a -----

For real, he's no joke, the guy don't play

He tried to---------- way more than a one- horse sleigh

Laughin all the way, but he's not laughin' today

We'll jingle more than his-----------

Even the elves will pay

Come Christmas Eve

Ol' Nick's a gonner

We'll be snackin' on deer

----Blitzen and Donner

Not a question of when not even a maybe

Have a drunk Miss Claus

Say they jinglin, baby!

Givin' new meaning to “Ho ho ho”

Shake them ---s, girl

Bumpin' booty in the snow

So watch out Santa, you jolly old troll

We'll be strippin' that sleigh

And leave you the coal





Jingle bells, jingle bells, jinglin' all the way

Oh what fun it is to ride in a drop-top Chevrolet

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jinglin' all the way

Oh what fun it is to ride from Detroit to East LA





You playin' reindeer games?

Hell, yeah my friend…

Grab Rudolph's horns and see how far they bend

When his nose turns red

His----gets sent back out to the woods with his fat elf Randall

Santa Claus wouldn't list me as nice

In fact he'll have me listed as naughty twice

Not cause of the fights or Christmas gift heist

But because of all the -----got left on his wife

It's time for Old Nick to move and retire

Before we roast his ----on a big ass fire

Yes I'm that bad

Yes I 'm that crude

I mean your ass is huge

Lose weight for real dude

All the cookies in your mouth

Simply quite sick

I mean, when's the last time you seen your ----?

I don't to throw a fit, and I'm not one to