(B: Bob D: Doug C: Chorus)
B: OK, good day.This is our Christmas part of the album.You can play this
at your Christmas parties, or to yourself on Christmas Eve, if there's
nothin' else to do.
D: Good day, eh?In case you thought, like, I wasn't on this part.
B: Oh, I guarantee ya you'd be on.OK, so good day.This is the Christmas
part, and we're gonna tell ya what to get..um...your true love for
Christmas.
D: Look out the window!
B: Where? (chuckle) What are ya doin'?!?
D: Snow, hosehead!
B: Well, oh, it's the Great White North, and it's snowing 'cause it's
Christmastime.Hey, hoser!
D: What?
B: Here's a quiz. (chuckle) Quiz for Doug...
D: OK, I have my "thinking touque" on.
B: Yeah, right.What are the "Twelve Days of Christmas"? 'Cause, figure it
out, right?Christmas is when?
D: Um, the twenty-fifth...
B: Right.And, what's the twenty-fourth...Christmas Eve, right?So..
D: That's two
B: That's two.And, then what's after that? (pause) Boxing Day
D: Wrestling Day
B: Wrestl..get out!
D: Boxing Day, yeah, yeah.
B: That's three.Then, what's after that?Nothin'!
D: New Year's!
B: Four and what's...
D: New Year's Eve?
B: That's five.Where do ya get twelve?
D: Uh, there's two Saturdays and Sundays in there;that's four.So, that's
nine.And three other days which, I believe, are the "mystery" days.
(Music starts)
B: OK, this our Christmas song, just in case you don't know what to get
someone for Christmas.
D: There's lots of ideas in here, so listen and don't get stuck! (organ
starts) By the way, that's ME on the organ.
B: Oh, geez.
D: You start...
B: OK...
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
A beer.
D: On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
Two turtle-necks
B: And a beer.
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
Three French toast
D: Two turtle-necks
B: And a beer.
D: There should be more there, eh?
B: Where?Oh, go!
D: Fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
Four pounds of back-bacon
B: Three French toast
D: Two turtle-necks
B: And a beer.
D: ...in a tree.See, you need more.
B: Oh..fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
Five golden tooks,
D: Four pound of back-bacon
B: Three French toast
D: Two turtle necks
B: And a beer...where?
D: (with Bob) In a tree.
B: OK, on the sixth...oo, go!
D: ..Christmas, my true love gave to me,
C: Six...
D: Six packs of two-four
B & C: Five golden tooks
C: Four...
D: Four pounds of back-bacon
C: Three...
B: Three French toast
C: Two...
D: Two turtle-necks
C: And a beeeeeeeeer...
B: And a beer (with Doug) in a tree. OK.
On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
Seven pack of smokes,
C: Nice gift!
D: Nice gift.Oh...six packs of two-four
B & C: Five golden tooks.
C: Four...
D: Four pounds of back-bacon
C: Three...
B: Three French toast
C: Two...
D: Two turtle-necks
C: And a beeeeeeeeer...
B: And a beer (with Doug) in a tree.Keep forgetting.
D: Whew!This should just be the "Two Days of Christmas";it's too hard for
us!Go, hoser.
B & D: On the eighth day of Christmas, may true love gave to me,
D: Eight comic books
(Chorus repeats right behind them, though one behind)
B & D: Seven packs of smokes
Six pack of two-four
B: Five...
C: (catches up) Five golden tooks
Four pounds of back-bacon
Three French toast
Two turtle-necks
ALL: And a beer...
B & D: On my tree.
B: Yeah, that beer is empty.OK, day, um...
C: TWELVE!
B: Twelve!
D: Good day, and welcome to day twelve..
(Chorus starts up and Bob and Doug join in)
ALL: Five golden tooks
Four pounds of back-bacon,
Three French toast
Two turtle-necks
And a beer in a treeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
D: Where'd you learn to do that?
B: Um, albums.
D: So, like, that's our song.Merry Christmas...
B: Merry Christmas!
D: And good day!
B: Good day!Ha-happy New Year, too.
D: Shhh!
B: OK, you know what you left out?
D: What?
B: Donuts!
D: Oh, no!
B: I told you to get donuts.Either on the ninth day, or the tenth day or
the eleventh day, but I want donuts!
D: OK, the song's over!Merry Christmas, everybody!
B: ...or, on the twelfth day, you could've got me a DOZEN donuts...
D: So,..go out to the stores and get some presents!
B: You could've gone down, to, like, the good donut shops where you buy a
dozen, you get another one free, and then it'd be thirteen for the
"Thirteen Days of Christmas"!
D: Next Christmas, you can get me a chain-saw!
B: Take off!
(As music fades:)
D: Boy, that song was a beauty.It...it moved me.
B: Yeah, I think it ranks up there with "Stairway to Heaven".
D: What?
