Hotel Can't Afford Ya


From a dark desert highway we pulled into the inn

Rome called for a census, I was from Bethlehem

Up above from a distance a star was giving me light

My wife was heavy 'cause her child was due

We had to stop for the night

So I stood in the doorway of Bethlehem hotel

And I was thinking to myself "I hope to heaven they'll give me some help"

But they told us no-can-do and they sent me away

"There's a place around the corner though where you both can stay"

Welcome, but the hotel can't afford ya

Such a lovely place but we're out of space

Ran out of room and the hotel can't afford ya

It's the time of year with the census here

My wife was definitely gifted, that's what the Lord's angel said

She was about to have a baby boy while still virgin

Spent the night in the barnyard, cheap slumlord's rent

Some night to remember, some night to forget

So because of what happened I was grieving for my wife

I said "They probably haven't cleaned in here since B.C. 65"

Animal voices were calling for straw and hay

Keeping you up in the middle of the night just as if to say…

Welcome, but the hotel can't afford ya

Such a lovely place, but we're out of space

Holiday rush and the hotel can't afford ya

What a nice surprise for your silent night

He was born that evening and shepherds came that night

And they said "We're all just visitors here of the Holy Christ"

And in the ass's manger, they found the boy asleep

They started getting teary eyed so they went back to their sheep

Last thing I remember there were wise men at the door

They had a bunch of packages from the place they were before

"We're late," said the wise men "We had problems Christmas Eve

We've been checking out your shiny light all through the Middle East"