If It's Not God

Maddie Zahm

Be pretty and don′t make it look like you're trying
Told to be Ester when I felt like Goliath
When they were wrong, I could never keep quietI′d search for the truth and had faith that I'd find it

Set myself on fire
Let myself be the liar

All the Sundays I worried I'd disappoint my mom
Cause I never understood some types of love being wrong
Something inside me was always steering left
What Father picks a few just to leave the rest?
I heard a voice inside my head, it disagreed
So if I wasn′t God, well, thank God it was me
Thank God it was me

They called me a sinner when I was a saint
Hiding in her bedroom, praying depression away
Killing herself for eternal life
And losing her interests to be a good wife

Set myself on fire
I let them call me the liar

All the Sundays I worried I′d disappoint my mom
Cause I never understood a type of love being wrong
Something inside me was always steering left
What Father picks a few just to leave the rest?
I heard a voice inside my head, they disagreed
So if that wasn't God
If that wasn′t God, it was me
Thank God it was me, me
Thank God it was me

If it was God, then I don't have to worry
He′ll know why I left, why I ran in a hurry
So either way I choose, I'm not wasting my life
Cause the voice in my head has always been right

All the Sundays I worried I′d disappoint my mom
Because I never understood a type of love being wrong
Something inside me was always steering left
No Father picks a few just to leave the rest