If That Ain't Country

David Allen Coe

Recitation:

the old man was covered with tattoos and scars

he got some in prison and others in bars

the rest he got workin' on old junk cars

in the daytime

they looked like tombstones in our yard

and i never seen him when he wasn't tired

and mean

he sold used parts to make ends meet

covered with grease from his head to his feet

cussin' the sweat and the texas heat

and mosquiters

and the neighbors said we lived like hicks

but they brung their cars for pa to fix

anyhow

he was veteran-proud, tried and true

he'd fought till his heart was black and blue

didn't know how he'd made it through

the hard times

he bought our house on the g.i. bill

but it wasn't worth all he had to kill

to git it

he drank pearl in a can and jack daniels black

chewed tobacco from a mail pouch sack

had an old dog that was trained to attack

sometimes

he'd get drunk and mean as a rattlesnake

and there wasn't too much that he would take

from a stranger



there were thirteen kids and a bunch of dogs

a house full of chickens and a yard full of hogs

i spent the summertime cuttin' up logs for the winter

tryin' like the devil to find the lord

workin' like a nigger for my room and board

coal-burin' stove, no natural gas

if that ain't country, i'll kiss your ass

if that ain't country, it'll hairlip the pope

if that ain't country, it's a damn good joke

i've seen the grand ole opry, and i've met johnny cash

if that ain't country, i'll kiss your ass



recitation:

mama sells eggs at a grocery store

my oldest sister is a first-rate whore

dad says she can't come home anymore

and he means it

ma just sits and keeps her silence