Anya
This is the man that I plan to entangle, isn't he fine?
My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle, vengeance was mine.
But I'm out of the biz, the name I made I'll trade for his.
The only trouble is… I'll never tell
Xander
She is the one, she's such wonderful fun, such passion and grace.
Warm in the night, when I'm right in her tight… embrace, tight embrace!
I'll never let her go. The love we've know can only grow.
There's just one thing that… no, I'll never tell
Both
Cuz there's nothing to tell
He snores, she wheezes
Say housework and he freezes, she eats these skeezy cheeses that I can't describe
I talk, he breezes, she doesn't know what pleases
His penis got diseases from a Chumash Tribe!
Both
The vibe gets kind of scary
Like she thinks I'm ordinary, like it's all just temporary
Like her toes are kinda hairy
Both
But It's all very well, cuz god knows I'll never tell!
Anya
When things get roughy, he just hides behind his Buffy
Now look he's getting huffy, cuz he knows that I know
Xander
She clings, she's needy, she's also rally greedy, she never…
His eyes are beady
This is my verse, hello! She…
Look at me! I'm dancing crazy
Both
You know
You're quite the charmer, my knight in armer
You're the cutest of the scoobies,
With you lips as red as rubies, and your firm yet supple tight embrace!
He's swell, she's sweller
He'll always be my feller, that's why Il'l never tell her that I'm petrified
I've read this tale, there's wedding then betrayal.
I know there'll come the day I'll want to run and hide
Both
I lied, I said it's easy
I've tied, but there's these fears I can't quell.
Is he looking for a pot of gold, will I look good when I've gotten old
Will our lives become too stressful if I'm never that successful?
When I get so worn and wrinkly that I look like David Brinkley?
Am I crazy, Am I dreaming, Am i marrying a demon?
Both
We could really raise the beam in making marriage a Hell.
So thank God I'll never tell.
I swear that I'll never tell.
My lips are sealed, I take the fifth
Nothing to see, move it along!
Both
I'll never tell!
