Well I heard that you're leavin',
Gonna leave me far behind,
'Cause you found a brand new lover.
You decided that I'm not your kind.
So I pulled your name out of my Rolodex
And I tore all your pictures in two
And I burned down the malt shop where we used to go
Just because it reminds me of you!
That's right, you ain't gonna see me cryin'.
I'm glad that you found somebody new,
'Cause I'd rather
Spend eternity eating shards of broken glass
Then spend one more minute with you.
I guess I might seem kinda bitter.
You got me feelin' down in the dumps,
'Cause I'm stranded all alone
In the gas station of love
And I have to use the self-service pumps!
Oh, so honey, let me help you with that suitcase.
You ain't gonna break my heart in two,
'Cause I'd rather
Get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face
Then spend one more minute with you.
I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork
Then watch you going out with other men.
I'd rather slam my fingers in a door
Again and again and again and again and again.
Oh, can't you see what I'm tryin' to say, darlin',
I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches,
Shove an icepick under a toenail or two,
I'd rather clean
All the bathrooms in Grand Central Station
With my tongue
Then spend one more minute with you.
Yes, I'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of
thumbtacks,
Or stick my nostrils together with Crazy Glue,
I'd rather dive into a swimming pool
Filled with double-edged razor blades
Then spend one more minute with you.
I'd rather rip my heart
Right out of my rib cage
With my bare hand
And then throw in on the floor
And stomp on it 'til I die...
...then spend one more minute with you.
