What inspires one to tell
The closest that they ever been to hell
A little feeling flourished me not too long agoNever felt it before it was wonderful
I pursued it and my life was a high
I couldn′t come down, the stars aligned
I'd give my heart, and I′d give my life
Until she stabbed me with the blade of a sharp knife
And it ain't her fault, but at the same time it was
I had panic attacks, and I knew the cause
I pitch my voice down, hate the sound of my track
Can't hear myself echo through the playback
I was fucked up like never before, I resent it
I decided to kill myself when school ended
The 16th of December when the time was right
Same time as that motherfucking movie night
So it was to my surprise
That′d I′d wake up
The next day and rise
The next day and rise
(Don't know how to get you out of my mind)
Did showing me her picture make you feel any better?
(Where the fuck do I reside?)
You′re not human, you don't care
(Please tell me to go and hide)
I′ve never hurt myself, I've never cut or tied anything
Around my neck like my friend almost did
I wish I knew but now he′s doing better than as a kid
I can't bring myself to add the scars that I lack
My whole family was scared at the stretch marks on my back
I was contemplating, going insane wondering
If I ever travel through your mind?
An angry voice yelling "wish I had more time"?
That same friend asked me a question last July
It was "do you have a hunch about how you'll die"
About how you′ll die
I′ve always wanted to make a song about her
Called it girl with the red hair back then
Those nights in the West docks
Appreciated
People can be changed
When I found out what my fate is
What my fate is
I don't really know
But I feel bad for thinking about the man upstairs around
As if there is some universal obligation to help me come down
I′ve come to terms with it, it makes me feel a little better
I'm sorry
Took me way too long to realize how lonely I felt
You can′t tell the time when you have no one to keep in check
I don't know how to handle this
This chaos that reigns in my temple
Raised by the people around me I would never stand a chance
I see your mind
Wish you could look me in the eyes
She almost called that fucking hotline
These never-ending "I′m fines"
Are you with someone else or is he just overthinking
This is my goodbye
I'm done with crawling
Done with shrinking
It's my end and I choose it
I hope you enjoy it
Is it even your fault?
Or did I fabricate it?
Like everything else I tend to manipulate
Others around me and now my own mind
Time, time, time again I′ve tried
To see the light
The good in all
Everything happens for a reason
Changes in my mental this season
Darker, everythings darker
Every little picture and person around you
Every little talk and picture about you
Every little text and message from you
Every fucking thing
I′m done with it
I'm disconnected
Refusing to understand it
I can′t accept it
I can't accept it
It′s too late
I've set the date
It′s my end and I choose it
Why does it feel so right
Ears bleeding, tears seeping
Moments fleeting
He did something unforgivable
Hard to say, hard to outline
What is so unforgivable?
Lips sealed shut
Black dark memories
I should stop blaming
There's nothing to destroy
He'll be fine
And I′ll move on
It′s not your fault
Not meant to be
It's useless
It′s useless
Does everyone?
Does everyone see him with the same eyes?
A different light
A different light
Do you see him with the same eyes?
Do you, do you, do you?
A different light
It's useless
Useless
