The Football Song

First Offence

Verse 1



We got up early to get to the match



We smash and trash the first train that we catch



We seen a pub and we knocked a few back



We did the landlord right there on the mat



All twelve of us well we seen this lad



We were really pleased but he wasn't too glad



I walked right to him said "You could use a shave"



And introduced him to my Wilkinson blade



I took a grip had to suck in real hard



Followed through with our firm's calling card



Then we did a runner cos he had some mates



And three against twelve doesn't sound too great



Into the toilet, marker pens at ready



The crippled attendant tried to come on really heavy



That was too bad, another guy got hurt



But never mind, it's all in a day's work



Chorus



Don't care if we lose, don't care if we win



Don't care if we sink, don't care if we swim



Don't care if we lose, don't care if we win



Cos YOU'RE GONNA GET YOUR FUCKIN' HEAD KICKED IN!



Break



(You're gonna get your fuckin' head kicked in)



(You're gonna get your fuckin' head kicked in)



(Yeah, twat him. Kick his fuckin' head in! Scouse bastard)



Repeat chorus



Verse 2



1-0, into the first five minutes



If he looks at me again I'll kill 'im



I don't think he'd be smilin' like that



With his teeth knocked out with a baseball bat



It's a pity I couldn't smuggle one in



But the security's good these days



It's a good job they didn't check me back pocket



Cos they'd've found my blade



1-0, what the hells up with 'em?



They should hammer these Krauts



Kick 'em in the bollocks and have done with



I ain't doin' for nowt



I