ANYA
This is the man that I intend to entangle
Isn't he fine?
My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle
Vengeance was mine!
But I'm out of the biz
The name I made, I'll trade for his
The only trouble is - -
I'll never tell.
XANDERR
She is the one
She's such wonderful fun
Such passion and grace
Warm in the night when I'm right in her tight - -
Embrace! Tight embrace!
I'll never let her go
The love we've known can only grow
There's just one thing that - -
No. I'll never tell.
ANYA AND XANDERR
Cause there's nothing to tell.
ANYA
He snores
XANDERR
She wheezes
ANYA
Say 'housework' and he freezes
XANDERR
She eats these skeezy cheeses that I can't describe
ANYA
I talk; he breezes
XANDERR
She doesn't know what 'please' is
ANYA
His penis got diseases from a Chumash tribe!
ANYA AND XANDERR
The vibe gets kind of scary
XANDERR
Like, she thinks I'm ordinary
ANYA
Like, it's all just temporary
XANDERR
Like, her toes are kind of hairy
ANYA AND XANDERR
But it's all very well
Cause, God knows, I'll never tell!
ANYA
When things get rough, he
Just hides behind his Buffy!
Now look, he's getting huffy
Cause he knows that I know.
XANDERR
She clings
She's needy
She's also really greedy
She nev - -
ANYA
His eyes are beady!
XANDERR
This is my verse, hello?
She - -
ANYA (Spoken)
Hey, look at me! I'm dancing crazy!
ANYA AND XANDERR
You know
XANDERR
You're quite the charmer
ANYA
My knight in armor
XANDERR
You're the cutest of the Scoobies
With your lips as red as rubies
And your firm, yet supple - -
Tight embrace
TOGETHER
I lied I said it's easy
I tried but there's these fears I cant quell
XANDER
iIs she looking for a pot of gold
ANYA
Will I look good when ive gotten old
XANDER
Will our lives become too stressful if im never that successful
ANYA
When I get so worn and wrinkly that I look like david brinkley
XANDER
Am I crazy
ANYA
Am I dreamin
XANDER
Am I marrying a demon
both
We can really raise the beam in makin marriage a hell so thank god ill never tell... I swear that ill never tell
XANDER
My lips are sealed
ANYA
I take the fifth
XANDERr
Nothin to see
ANYA
Move it along
BOTH
I'll never... tell
